A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Im sick and tired of my dad trying to butt his nose into my life. He's forever giving his opinion on the men i choose to date and the friends I have. Im only 26 but he tells me that ive messed my life up just because I havent been to uni or gone travelling. This isnt because I didnt want to, its because I never got the opportunity to. However, I do have a good job now and many friends and Im happy with my life. But he always tries to make me feel crap about my life. Im also 2 months pregnant and very happy. Ive moved home for a couple of months to save before moving into my own place and this morning my dad was saying how ive destroyed my life cos Im having a child. I was almost in tears. I think deep down he regrets the way he spent his life. He's intelligent and had the chance to go far but he became an alcoholic and brought me and my sister up on a council estate with no money. Although he has turned his life around now,he regrets the years he lost being drunk. I know he just wants the best for me. But I cant put up with anymore of this. Ive asked him to leave me alone many times but he says he's entitled to his opinion. He said this morning that at my age I should have my own house, money in the bank, brand new car and go on holidays. But what normal 26 year old in this day and age can do all that with absolutely no help whatsoever and on a wage of £200 per week? Most of my friends who own their own houses have had help from their parents yet my dad would not even dream of lending me the money for a deposit. It's a no win situation with him and he's driving me crazy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2009): Well congratulations on the pregnancy. I'm really sorry for all the stress you must be going frew. Your dads behaviour is not fair and especialy with your condition and hormones.
Of course your dad just wants whats best for you because to him your still his little girl. How he's behaveing couldn't be any worse for you though.
He's trying to live your life for you because his choises would make him happier. You and him are to completly diffrent people so what makes him happy will not necaserily make you happy.
The realistik thing to do in this situation would be to sit down with your dad and lay some bounderaies down.
You need to tell him that he has no right to tell you how to live your life as for 1/ your a grown up and 2/ it's your life to do what you want with.
If you carn't bring yourself to do this then I would move out at the most convenient time possible because it could batter your self esteem and you need to be stong when you have your baby. I'm due a baby in a few months and I have just had to leve my situation to be good use to my baby. I couldn't have stayed in the that place because it would have destroyed me and her.
If that was me and my dad was doing that then I would say to him that I don't want him in my life until he has learned to put me first and stop putting me down.
I realised that in life theres 2 realistic things you can do about a bad situation, wich is 1/ stay were you are and continue to let the situation controll you or 2/ take control of the situation and do something about it. It's your life so only you can do it for yourself.
You should be really proud of yourself because you mention that you are happy with how you have lived your life. That makes you a sucsess in my oppinion. Who's to say money and materealistic objects means a person is sucsessful.
As long as your doing what you want and are happy then you carnt go wrong.
Good luck with the situation and I hope your pregnacy goes well for you, take care.
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