A
male
age
30-35,
*udeman
writes: my girlfriend and i met when we were 15 and 16. i was a virgin, she had sex with one other guy. lets just say we were really attracted to each other and we had sex a week and a half after we met. (before we even started dating). we started dating 2 days after we had sex and set guidelines as far as relationship dos and donts (like any other couple). we spent 2 months happily dating and we even lived together for a few months when she was staying with her aunt during her parents' divorce. we were honestly falling so fast for each other. we spent everyday together and never got tired of one another. after we moved back in with our parents, things got rough, but we managed happily and made it through our senior year together and even past graduation. i got her a job at the restaurant i was working at because she needed a new job. however her ex boyfriend worked there and even though their previous relationship only lasted a week and they never did anything sexual because she wasn't really attracted to him like he was to her, it still bugged me. about 11 months into it, things started getting rough. we started fighting more often, things started getting dull and boring. dont get me wrong, we still loved each other, its just i was always out doing my own thing while she was always questioning me and being insecure. i was starting to get sick of being on a leash and after a few good fights, i couldnt take it any more, and broke up with her right before our one year anniversary. nearly hours after the breakup, i called her and texted her saying i was sorry and i didnt mean it. i wanted to make things better but i guess she didnt want to feel like she was on my watch all the time so she told me to call her the following day because she needed time to think. a couple days later, i drove to her house and we sat outside to talk on her curb and i was saying that i still wanted to be with her and that i made a mistake and that i was sorry, but when i went in to kiss her, she rejected my kiss and turned to the side. after that, i was so mad that i left and didnt talk to her for 2 or 3 days. on the third day, after work, i saw her get in the car with her ex boyfriend and thats when i went psycho. i was so mean to her and told her i was done with the relationship. she said she was only hanging out with him as a friend. after 3 weeks of little communication, she finally broke down and told me how much she missed me and how much she wanted to see me. i was so happy to hear this, that the next day, i drove to her house and we kissed and things seemed so exciting and feelings were good all over. we started haning out again and having sex and things seemed better then how they were. during this time, i asked her if her and her exboyfriend did anything and she repeatedly told me "no". After 2 weeks of hanging out, we were going to make things more official, but i asked her if there were any secrets she was hiding and she said that she had sex with her ex a week and a half after our breakup. ..... heres the kicker.....not only did they have sex 4 or 5 times during a 3 week fling, but they also talked about making things more official and being boyfriend and girlfriend. they did things like, went to the movies, went out to dinner, hung out all day, she drove his car when he was at work, they always got fastfood before work. they did EVERYTHING that WE did together. she apologizes for what she did and said she is willing to make ANY change to accomodate my security, but the fact that she did that and LIED about it, tells me otherwise. i really love her and the past two weeks have been great, i just dont know if i should get back with her and look past this because we WERE broken up, or does this relationship she had with her ex say something about how she really feels about me? help me aunts.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2009): Well i'm sorry for the stress your under and any heart ake you may have sufferd.
Your girlfriend did lie to you but I think that was very honest the way she told you everything in the end.
She was probably just scared to tell you the truth because she knew how much it knew it would hurt you.
That was probably just her way of bideing time to pluck up the courage to tell you the truth.
An honest person would not have told you the truth and all of what happend. I would take the fact that she told you all of what happend between them as a good thing. A dishonest person wouldn't do this.
Well ovisiouly you weren't together as a couple at this time so tecnicly she did nothing wrong. She might not have known you to were ever going to get back together so you carn't hang around waiteing for what could be because it might never be. The only thing I would question is that She did do it all really soon after you both broke up.
Considering what you had both had together, that sounds like something a person would do when they are over the other person.
If the shoe was on my foot then I would trust that the other person was not a lier but question why they were doing so many intimate things with another person so soon if they still loved me. It's probably fine for you but for me this would make me feel very uncomfortable.
I don't think it's a good idea to spend everyday toether because I did this before and it got boring and how could I miss him when we were together 24/7.
Good luck
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