A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my husband for 6 years. Married for 3. We have a 5 year old daughter and i am now 5 months pregnant. I am 25 years old. our relationship seemed to be great until we got married. Since then i have found out various things about him. Hidden phone, girls texts, internet porn, internet chats. Everytime i found something i would confront him and he would apologise. When i would ask him for a reason he said that i put on weight after my daughter (i can stllfit into the clothes from before!) He said our sex life wasnt great. But we still did it a couple of nights a week. He said sorry and that he would stop. Recently i caught very explicit sex chats online and He then said he'd been having sexual fantasies and wanted us to think about threesomes. That is not my thing. Anyway he claimed to be a changed man and in dec when i just found out about my pregnancy i found a very sexual text he had sent a girl asking to meet up for sex.so i confronted him and told him i couldnt take it anymore. Only prob is he is a good person and has always looked after me.we just bought a house and he pays for everything like bills. I am scared of being pregnant and alone with no. I dont have much of income either. He is begging me to try again and just give it time but i dont want to be fooled again. There is nothing left for me to believe in him. I just wanted the best for my daughter but i dont know how to go. It is very strange but i feel numb. We are still sleeping in the same bed but i dont want to be intimate.help.
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male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (20 March 2010):
 You feel pain, which is natural, because thing is painful. But, check out for some option, like I am suggesting one for you, which I hope will work.
It is also natural, that sex after marriage do not seems as magnetic as before marriage it felt. And, it is sex that bring male and female together, to make life alive. But what happen after marriage? What is that, that change everything and make life problematic. Nothing special, but routine sex life, like routine food, sleep, job work etc. No one expect romance in eating, sleeping, and job work etc. But, in sex romance is expected. It say, life should be like Novel...where each chapter has something new to the story.
Now, start good erotic sex life. Do not go for ejaculatory sex, no penetrative sex. Be strict about your husband, and impose condition...no masturbation, no ejaculation...and within a week you both will start to feel the magic of touch, which you must have felt before marriage. He will forget to see porn etc...because its romance is faking, where as your achievement will be real. Power of reality will defeat fantasy. What I am telling you is tested and found ok. Your husband is not bad, if he expect romance, and seek it in porn...no matter- his effort are mistake, but such mistake are not hard, a good habit will defeat mistaken behavior. Trust in reason, and logic...what I am suggesting here is matching with reason and logic.
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