A
male
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anonymous
writes:Is it too late for me being a 23 year old virgin given that I'm finishing university in a few months?Because I'm in my final year of university, it is expected of me that I should have by now slept with at least one woman unless I'm celibate or a weirdo, according to the guys on my engineering course (they don't know I'm a virgin) with one guy saying even if its with a fat desperate girl.I'm building my confidence at my own pace but I feel bad that I should have made more of the time I had and dated more women. I'm not someone who is interested in one nighters having nearly lost it one night in 1st year but alcohol prevented my performance.The 2 people who I've told try to keep assuring me that I am normal and although later than average there are still a lot of guys like me who are still virgins. I'm scared that a future girlfriend who I like/love will reject me because I'm a virgin.
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male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (4 November 2010):
the only reason you are worrying is because the majority of people start experimenting with sex between the ages of 16 and 22.
just because you haven't doesnt make you any different. If you ask most people, they will probably say their first time was rubbish and they should have waited.
by worrying about it, you are just putting more pressure on yourself.
besides, it doesn't overly matter if the person you sleep with is a virgin or not because everyone ticks in different ways and each time you sleep with someone new, you have to find what makes them tick - and that is half the fun.
sex is all about learning and fun.
A
male
reader, digitalent  +, writes (2 November 2010):
You are normal. Don't worry about it. I'm 21 at still virgin and plan on waiting till marriage. My father and mother lost it when they got married at 35 and 30 respectively. Guess its a family thing lol.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): Oh no, it is way too late sorry. If you look up the sex rule book that we are all given at 16, it states that you must lose your virginity before 22years and 11 months of age. Sorry to say it man but you've missed the boat, you'll be a virgin forever now.
Your penis will stop working in a few months and fall off because you didn't have sex sooner.
Okay sarcastic joking over, it's never too late, inexperience is not a big deal either. There's no age limit on these types of thing at all. Not only is it completely normal for you, it's completely normal for most people regardless what you've heard or read.
I'll put it to you this way, you'll probably live to be 80-90 which means you've only lived about 1/4 of your life so far. There is lots and lots of time to start dating and getting practice in. Girls don't care about experience as much as they do personality. Experience can be gained, personality can't. So just be happy with yourself and don't be in any rush to have sex because you feel like you're missing out. You're not, just live life at your own pace and when you feel ready then go for it. Nothing to it really, just don't impose time limits or any other conditions on yourself, it's about fun not obligation.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (2 November 2010):
 There is no scandal in being sexually inexperienced at your age. In all probability there will be a few more virgins in your class at Uni but they are just going along with the bravado. Basically there is a peer pressure to get rid of it. However I think your integrity in waiting for the right girl is a good thing. Losing it to a random girl won't mean anything. If you have a girlfriend who really likes you then she won't care and should be flattered when the time is right. When you finish college and enter the world of work then there will be more opportunities to meet girls. You will no doubt find someone special at some stage.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): I'm in college and I still haven't even had my first kiss yet. I'm not in a rush though and I could care less if everyone around me isn't a virgin.
In fact, I hope my first serious relationship is with a virgin. I'd rather be with a guy who I know is clean, respects himself, and isn't driven by his sex drive.
Don't stress yourself over disappointing a girl because you're a virgin. A girl who refuses to date a guy who has no experience in bed, probably just wants sex. Therefore, she's not worth your time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): Hey buddy!
Yes youre normal! I lost mine at 25! I never ever let pressure get to me and wanted to wait all that crap...turns out that only made me more angry as my frustrations with women continued. So, well, I'll just tell you I had to do what was necessary to lose it as my mental health was at risk.
I will give you reassurance that youre in a good spot man. Honest. I think its great you did let alcohol ruin your first experience. You should aim for a pure experience as Ive known people who lose like that and get depressed and regret it immeasurably.
Ive learned that usually all women dont care about the V card. Most women like to feel special, so if u wait, chances are theyd feel quite privileged and that would motivate them to give you a damn fine first experience lol. Especially if they are emotionally attached to you.
Be yourself and be patient. Life will teach you patience and here is another test for you. Continue to not give in and make good decisions and hopefully youll find a good lady. Just be cautious tho with attaching an emotion to ur first experience. For me, it was what was logical. I couldnt have attachment and absolutely refused it given what Id been thru. Your case Im sure is much different as a lot of ppl may argue on this board im quite a weird guy lol. Good luck and pm me any time :)
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A
male
reader, Nice_Guy_451  +, writes (2 November 2010):
Hey, I'm close to you too. A second year virgin that has been pressured by some people to have sex. I told them I haven't someone I want to lose it with and to stay out of my sex life. And luckily a few friends are cool with it.
Honestly, everyone moves at their own pace and has their own views. Don't let people pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. And if, in the future, you find a girl that rejects you because you're a virgin, then she wasn't the one for you.
Good luck on your decision and with all this stuff.
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