A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Our 23 year old son lives with us, and he's in university doing a 4-year business course - it got delayed for financial reasons.He's doing well academically.However, he told us yesterday he wants to meet this girl he met online - he got talking to her via email after making contact with her via e-mail for support for a software package he bought off the Internet from a well-known software firm.He said her profile's on the software maker's site, a full biography etc. with photo - but does it mean she is who she says she is?He wants to meet her, and she wants to meet him, but we're not entirely sure if he should meet her.Privately, I find it a bit worrying, but should I let him do this, as he's technically a legal adult?My husband said he doesn't really care as long as it's safe and legal.Please help, thanks.
View related questions:
met online, the internet, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, badcompany82  +, writes (22 September 2009):
Hi, just wanted to tell you a story about a girl my friend has meet online. He is 25 yrs old and has custody of his two children. He is going though a nasty divorce. He meet a girl online whos profile looked great. He meet her in person about a week and a half ago. Three days later she is trying to move in with him. She is in her early 20's and doesnt have any children. When she talks to my friend, she talks like they have known each other forever.She is acting like a mother to his kids. This girl is attractive, a college student, and has everything handed to her from her parents. She has turned out to be a wack job. What I'm tryin to say is, no matter what someones profile looks like, you never know the true person. If there looking for someone online, that should be the first sign that something is not right. Take this girl for example. She is a college student who is attractive, has her own place, and money. Why would she want to be with someone who is going through a divorce, financially drained, and has two kids. O' Yea, and want to move in 3 days after she meets a guy. Tell your son to be careful with meeting girls online.
A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (23 August 2009):
 You are going to have to cut the apron strings hear dear. Your son is old enough to live his own life, if you try and persuade him not to meet this girl; the likelyhood is he will do so anyway.
Just wish him luck on his date, I think he is savvy enough to know how to handle himself.
...............................
A
female
reader, xoxladyrellyxox +, writes (23 August 2009):
Oh come on please don't let him do that meeting people online is very dangrous you should know that it could be a man, or a crazy girl or even the person he don't want to be with don't let him he should just wait until he meets the person he really wants in person love will find a way and that girl for him will come very soon
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): Don't worry - he will be fine. They should meet in a public place, and exchange email addresses first, then phone numbers. After all, when he meets someone at uni, or in a bar, you don't automatically know everything about a person. The same goes for internet dating. I dated around 10 different men from an internet dating site before I met my current partner. I met each man in a public cafe or restaurant so I could chat to them first, and most of them were sweet and sincere. One showed me some nude photos of himself on his phone (I am conservative and in no way invited this behaviour) and couldn't get out of the cafe fast enough. Recounting the date with my girlfriends afterwards had them in fits of hysterics. We were all laughing at his expense. So unless she starts showing him nude photos on her phone, he will be fine. And if she does pull out photos (VERY unlikely) - he can simply tell her he's not interested and leave.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 August 2009):
It's no more dangerous than him meeting up with some girl that he met in a club.
Anyone can lie about who they are. Just because she is on the internet doesn't make that any different.
He's 23 and therefore unlikely to be young and silly enough to have been groomed by a pervert.
As long as he follows the usual rules of meeting her in a public place etc etc he'll be fine.
To be honest, it's her that is more likely to be in danger. She's on the company website, your son could be anyone. Think about it like that and you'll realise it's fine.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (23 August 2009):
I understand your fear. You should let them meet, hes going to do it any way. However you should make sure they meet in a public place: movies, restaurant, mall. You also have to make it very clear that she is not allowed to know where you live. After a couple months of meeting in person and talking and doing stuff together then he will have a better chance of knowing if she is crazy. E-mail and a phone number should be good enough for a little while.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): I think it's probably safe. But he should be told that there are precautions that he (or anyone looking to meet someone from online) should take.
1) Meet in a public place.
2) For the first meeting don't go anywhere that the two of you can't be seen by others.
3) Always let someone know your plans. Where are you going to be and about what time are you going to be there?
4) Carry a cell phone. You don't have to check in with someone but you should be able to contact someone.
I doubt there is any real danger here but these rules should still be followed just in case.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): I know what you mean, but from my experience he's a young man and can do, go what your husband says, As long as its safe and legal, but keep your walls up.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): I have to agree with your husband. If it's leagal, and he's obviously an adult, then you have to let him do what he wants to do.
...............................
A
female
reader, PPrincess_89 +, writes (23 August 2009):
 It is legal to meet someone online but its frowned on because of the cases where the people turn out to have lied about their identities, etc. I'd say that because this girls profile is on a software maker's site and not on a social networking site where anyone can be anyone, its a pretty good chance that she is who she says she is. As long as your son meets her in a public place, and you know his location, you should let him be.
...............................
|
