A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So here goes,im a 22 yr. old lesbian,crushing (in love) with the mother of a former student who attends the daycare which i worked at. She is 40 yrs. old ,married, and straight (as far as i know). We've gone out outside of a school function. She's amazing, and beautiful. Im head over heels for this woman,and can barely contain myself , She's told me about her sex-less marriage ,and refers to her husband as stupid. We're friends on facebook and On one occasion my facebook status said i was watching a show and how im in love with the lead actress and how she is gorgeous. Well my crush commented on the status and said "have i ever told you people say i look and am a lot like her ;)" My jaw dropped. Was that her attempt at flirting or am i reading too much into this? Should i tell her how i feel? If so, how? PLEASE I NEED ALL THE FEEDBACK I CAN GET
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice everyone. I suppose you're right. I shall remain by her side as a friend.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): please don't do anything rash this has potential train wreck all over it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): I think she's only interested in you for friendship and is telling you these things about her husband the way a friend would confide in another. And quite honesty, what she's saying about him doesn't mean much. We all complain every now and then about our spouse. And though, at times, some of the things we say may sound horrible, it doesn't mean we intend to leave them or that we don't love them. Sometimes, we just need to vent.
I don't think she meant anything romantic by her comment about the star either. She may not even know you're a lesbian, or if she does, she probably figures that, since you know she's straight and because of the age difference, that you won't come on to her.
Besides, if she's married and straight, then she's completely unavailable. And if you don't put some distance between yourself and her, you will get hurt in the near future.
No, absolutely do not confess your feelings unless you want to send her running.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 November 2010):
You need to sit down and think logically, rather than with feeling. Because, right now, you're treading down the wrong road and you'll end up hurt one way or another.
First of all, this woman is married. So, if anything happened, you'd be apart of an affair, the break up of a marriage and it would have a very bad effect on your reputation.
Secondly, listen to the way she speaks of her husband. This woman refers to him as stupid, and claims her marriage if sexless. So there is no respect there, no real love. Yet she stays. So either she uses him, in which case she's pretty callous, or she's lying to you, in which case she's pretty callous.
Thirdly, you may well just be reading far too much into it. It's very easy to see what you want to see. Everyone does it. On numerous occasions I've thought women fancied me. They haven't of course.
You do not want to end up being used, hurt, or looking like a fool. This is a married woman, who doesn't seem to respect her husband or be bothered about her marriage. She's not that great. Back away, find a single person.
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