A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:We entered the new year 2 1/2 hours ago. Any advice you can give me?I'm 21 years old, I was with a girl (also 21) for 4 years, she was my first love, first kiss and first everything else. We connected well, shared looooads of great times together, and... You know what couples are like. We used to say different things to each other that nobody else would understand, and that. We even took a holiday to Paris back in May. I loved her with all my heart.We broke up back just a couple of months after the 4 days in Paris. She told me she was too young to be in something as serious as we were. We had spoken about getting engaged, but I didn't think we were taking things too fast. Christmas time has come and she now has somebody new. I avoid both of them now. I keep worrying about if she likes him more than me, and if they will last. It's got noubt to do with me I knw, but I just can't get it out of my head. I've even wondered if he pleases her more than I did.2008 has arrived and I want it to be the start of a new chapter in my life. Trouble is I can't stop thinkin about the past. I don't see me connecting with another girl like I did with her again, ever. I miss her, and I hate that she is moved on and I can't. What can I do? I don't want to think about the past anymore cos it hurts. HNY allfrm Al, Birmingham
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCheers for the answers. I posted a similar question recently, and I wish I had read these answers first. I guess a lot of people go through what I'm going through. Why does it have to be that way? Why can't more people end up with the first person they ever loved and just be happy? I think I'm going to struggle accepting that whoever I end up with after her won't be the ONLY person I've ever wanted to be with... Maybe that's farfetched?
A
male
reader, Cag Lee "Apollo" Adarma +, writes (2 January 2008):
 Hey Al,
First of all HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
i am somewhat in the same boat as you and it is not a nice feeling. All the feelings and questions you just mentioned I am going through. I also had the same plan, 2008 is a new year and i'm going to enter it with a newly ignited lust for life!
Then i saw a picture of her and felt like poop...but alas this is the condition of the human heart as, to quote the bard, " Tis better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all." Many people of around our age think they're "too young to be nailed down", 30 hits and they're asking " where are all the good ones".
So she's moved on bro, you have to do the same so start by just being as out there as you can be- make sure your staying active and not wallowing in self pity. Secondly dont feel emasculated that you love- it will stand you in good stead for the future, just get out there, be yourself and keep an open mind!
have a blessed 2008
The Cag
[rate me]
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A
female
reader, tytoalba +, writes (1 January 2008):
 It's always hard if you felt you were good with that person, but there will be someone else out there. Find something to take your mind off her, but you don't need to completely isolate yourself. Sincce it's the new year, just try to put it behind you and look for others because of all the millions of women in england your age, i'm positive one of them is good for you.
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