A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice on how to start communicating better with my boyfriend. Although I would like to, I never really talk to him about my feelings or initiate any sort of serious conversation with him as I don't really know how to, and he never brings these things up either. This wasn't as much of an issue at the start of our relationship, but we have been together for 2 years now (although very casual at first) and I am starting to get to the stage where I want to know how he feels about us longer term and whether we have the same views on these type of things. I have tried to broach the subject a few times, but he hasn't really given me much to go with and I haven't pushed it. He did mention us moving in together when he was a bit tipsy a few weeks ago though, so I do know he has thought about it too. So basically, I need some tips on how to start bringing these things up? I have always been very shy and terrible at communicating, and I think the fact he is as bad as me at it means we are drifting along without discussing anything. Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2012): You know what, people may not agree with me but I recommend grabbing a couple of bottles of wine, sitting at home having a few drinks with him and discussing things then.
Maybe have some wine with a meal you cook or something. If you're both a bit closed off and find it hard to open up you'd be amazed at how a bit of Dutch courage can loosen the lips. Don't get drunk though OP, just one or two glasses of wine to ease the nerves and loosen the tongue.
You're going to have to talk to him about this somehow, whether you want to do this sober or not it has to happen. You need to clear the air.
So invite him over for a meal have a couple of glasses of wine and just talk.
Only really for the first time too OP, it should be easier to open up after that.
Have some beers in the fridge too if wine is not his thing.
OP he's your boyfriend, the one person you should be able to talk about anything with, it's not healthy to have such poor communication and so many unanswered questions.
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