A
female
age
36-40,
*olly golightly
writes:i've been in a relationship for 6 yrs, through college and my first job.. my boyfriend is 8 yrs my senior and we love each other with passion and intensity. now, the initial years were bliss as i was in college and he was not very focused on higher education, but over the last year or so he has started getting very introspective and apprehensive of what the future holds for him since he hasnt yet done his postgrad and his peers are comfortably 6-7 yrs ahead of him. i didn't really urge him to be proactive regarding his flagging career, probably coz i was a kid at heart and also co i was selfish in a way..he treated me like a princess for the 4 yrs, though he left me i n the middle after 2 yrs coz i became very overbearing and demanding. i was sort of a crappy girlfriend, he knew i was unflinchingly devoted to him and would never stray and he sort of fathered me through the years.. i am addicted to his tlc,so i am quite possessive.recently he said he wants to end it with me coz he feels i'm nt complementary to his goals and constantly run him down (guilty as charged). he said he wants to end it, but after meeting me he was'nt able to sever it and has agreed to go on a 2 yr break from me.. i.e we're both in a relationship, don't date other ppl and wil remain faithful, however i no longer have the privileges and prerogatives of being his girlfriend. we don't even see each other, and over the course of the coming year he will be leaving the country to pursue higher studies on another continent for 5 yrs. i want to join him there after 2 yrs, and he said he hopes i become more responsible and giving in these two years, learn to get my act together and become self-reliant.i am confident he won't succumb to temptations overseas, and neither will i out here.. but is it feasible.. i am absolutely certain that this is the love of my life, but i'm afraid the distance will make him completely disenchanted and tear us apart.it is near impossible for me to learn to live in a reality in which we are single, so i'm sort of relieved that he has agreed to take a break rather than completely ending it. and i confess i have had little room to complain in the 5 yrs i was with him, tho i would deride him and express discontent then, in hindsight i have realised the sheer magnitude and depth of his love. what should i do, how do i overcome the gnawing feeling that we will be rivened by the distance and time. i know my feelings won't fade, but am afraid his might... suggestions anyone..?
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female
reader, Thornbirds  +, writes (4 April 2011):
 The number of years of any love relatioship does not guarantee "forever". Even married couples who are married for many years would end up in divorce. How fragile it would be if both are still unmarried and the relationship is hanging on a weak strand of hope. Distance can easily sever and tear it apart. Like a plant, it would only grow by constant nurturing and cultivating. Make compromises with him that you will try to live up to his expectations to change some undesirable traits you are willing to give up. If after sometime, you feel he is not negotiable on this term, well, you can't do anything but to give up your hopes of ending up with him..two years is too long enough to stand off from each other's ground. But if both of you are willing to make a deal before he goes abroad,then , there's a big chance of rekindling the old flame..however, if things are not going well at present, how much slim the hope would be in a distance.Based on your present situation, it is very critical.Two factors may make or break your relationship in the future - distance and time.. but if love is too strong for both of you, love conquers all!
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