A  ,
*ambelina
writes:Hi, Wondering if anyone can help me... I've been in two long term relationships in the past, but they both ended badly and I had my heart broken. Since the last one ended, I've been single for 2 years because everytime something starts happening with a guy, I get terrified and I run away. It's like I'm incapable of beginning anything new again and I don't know what to do! I'm feeling lonely now and I want to be with someone, but I don't know how I can stop being so afraid.... Thanks for your time, guys. xx Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2005): I'm sorry this has happened to you...it sounds as if your self-confidence in yourself has taken a downward turn as a result. Time will heal that, ..just go slow. I had this happen to me. I was dumped twice in a row, from two very long term relationships. I began to doubt myself and even wondered if I was loveable and desirable. I was so afraid to get involved with anyone for a long time..I didn't know if I risked being dumped again, would I be able to withstand the heartache,,,because it really hurts like hell. Rather than dwell on my hurt, I decided to get on with my life and rather than look for someone..I just working at enhancing my own life. I began to have fun going places with friends, I worked hard in my career, I volunteered in many charity groups, I bought myself a home, and I kept looking for different ways to seek a quality life for me and my son. In other words, I went out and decided to make a good, quality life for myself without a man! It's been 5 years now, and I have found the most incredibly loving man...who loves me for "me". He just breezed into my life when I least expected it. We started out at just friends and it progressed from there. He respects the hard work and efforts I put into my own life, he really loves my independence and my self-reliance. He and I have the most romantic, trusting and loving relationship. It's been a year and we are still crazy for each other..simply because we never take each other for granted and we savor our moments together. It will happen to you...but you need to work on these fears and emootional scars, these men in your life inflicted on you. You are the "architect" of your own life. Go and build a great and wonderful life on your own...fill up your lonely moments with moments of greatness...helping others and making yourself into a better person. But remember all love relationships are big risks. You just need to take your time 'choosing" the next man in your life...don't rush it. Get out and have some fun.
A
reader, lovethat +, writes (27 June 2005):
I was in a similar situation. It's difficult to trust men again, never mind trusting your own judgement! Remember all men are not alike. Give yourself a break and get involved with other interests. 2 years may seem like a long time, but your "picker" probably just needs a little tune-up. Take it s-l-o-w and practice being friends first. Peace-
...............................
|
