A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so this will be really long, I'm sorryI have 2 questionsQuestion 1:I am... well I'm not sure but I think I'm bi or Pansexual. I have been attracted to guys and girls I've had 2 boyfriends 1 of which I never really had feelings for (mentioned below)and have never been with a girl. if I can't tell if somoeone is a man or a woman i find it really attractive! I Know my parents would accept me no matter what I am but I can't seem to get up the courage to come out to them! Is this a sign that I Shouldn't come out yet? When / How should I tell my parents I like girls?Question 2:I have had feelings for a friend. I am crazy about her! But she is straight. But this passed summer she had a relationship with another girl. It was really hard on me because I wanted to be with her so badly. I had told her. A long time ago that I had feelings then when she was with this girl I ended up confessing that I wasn't over her! She apologized and said my friendship means a lot to her. Then she realized she couldn't be in the relationship because she was staight. I felt A lot better and thought all my feeling were just from self esteem issues or something. I started a LDR with a guy in september but there was no spark and I still thought about my friend a lot! The LDR ended recently and I find myself crying over my friend almost every night like I was in the summer. I think our friendship has gotten stronger from all this but it still hurts. I know I can never be with her but Still I feel like she's the only one for me... What should I do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012): Hi,If you're uncomfortable with coming out to your family you may not be ready yet. Don't worry, there is no hurry, the first thing to think about is becoming comfortable enough with yourself to take that step. :) You'll know you're comfortable when it won't feel weird to talk about it, or worry you to talk your sexuality.Now, concerning your feelings for your friend who dated another girl, your love may not have been unrequited but she seems to hold your friendship close to her heart. I understand that because I did the same to a very good and close friend, and I can tell you that this kind of situation is not sustainable in your position. I had to let her go because I know she couldn't leave her feelings aside when we were together. It was very painful to lose her, and I really didn't want to ruin our friendship but I still lost her. I thought about it long after. But, I had to let her go. I think what you feel for her is more than a crush. So, you have to think about whether it is healthy for you to remain friends with her, especially when you obviously still love her. There is no magic formula to get over someone but, time, talking things through with a trusted friend, meeting other people/making new friends, taking up a new hobby might help you take your mind off the pain. I know it sounds cheesy but it will get better, have faith in yourself. :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNotDoneYet,
Thank You every much.
You are right. I guess I just get carried away with my emotions. But I need to save that passion for someone who can return thoughs feelings. But I don't know how to control it sometimes. and Ijust when I think I'm fine with everything I end up crying over her.It's only happened when I'd be alone. I just start to think about all kinds of stuff that always seems to lead to thinking about her then BAM! here come the water works!
Any suggestions for for stratagies to clear my mind so I don't get carried away like that?
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