A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: In July I found out that I was pregnant for the second time from my boyfriend of 4 years. The first pregnancy was twins and I terminated it, against his wishes because I didn’t feel like we were ready or mature enough for them. I’m 21 and a senior in college and work full time to support myself and he’s 22 taking a semester off from school to work. He’s very loving and caring but I'm just not sure about starting a family. I’ve always said that I wanted to be married and buy a house or at least a condo before I have children, but since this unexpected pregnancy I’m not sure what to do. I haven’t told my mother whom I’m sure will be very disappointed in me because this isn’t what she had planned for me. I kind of feel like she wont support me and would turn her back on me. He tells me everyday that he’s so excited but I feel so guilty because I’m not. I want to be a mother and I wouldn’t mind having his children. But I don’t feel we are in the right place for them yet. Last night when I mentioned terminating this pregnancy as well, he told me with tears in his eyes that he would break up with me after I did it, which broke my heart.I guess what I’m asking is how do I explain to him, that I love him and want his children some day but not until we are ready and fully capable to take care of them on our own? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, danysbaby +, writes (11 September 2009):
True you may not be ready or may not feel your ready, but there is apparently one person who feels you are ready and has give you the gift that alot of women would love to have...There is so many women and couples out there who can't have kids, and you my dear are one of the lucky ones...My honest suggestion would be to have the baby, your BF would stand by you and help you out, but after baby was born, I would deff. get some permaniant birth control until your ready to have more...It is true, too many abortions can damage your body and when you are ready for more, it may be too late and your body may not be able to have children by then and it would be a regret u'd have to live with rest of your life as well as you'd loose the man you love..I didnt think i was ready either when i had my oldest child, i was 19, alone no man, but abortion and adoption was out of question for me and i left it Gods hands to help me. I went on to have a healthy son, then moved out of state met a man who helped me raise him for the next 11 yrs as his own son even though were getting divorced now, hes still there for him...Your mom even though u think would be disappointed cause its not wut she wanted, accidents happen and I beleive she'd be there for you, unless you went out and did it on purpose, which we know you didnt...Just trust in God for everything and ask him before you talk to your mom to help her understand and you both deal with this together...I hope I have helped....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2009): If you are not ready, and this is obviously not the first time, you need to take the correct steps to not encountering this problem. Termination a pregnancy is not healthy and is very bad for your body. You cannot put your body through this. You need to understand that your boyfriend was also a part of making this child and he has feelings just as you do. I think you need to keep this precious life. Maybe think of other options such as adoption. There are plenty of people out there who cannot have children and would love a healthy baby. You cannot keep using abortion as a form of birth control. Whatever you do, take time to think about it, talk to your doctor. Maybe tell you Mom. She may be more helpful than you think.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2009): i feel that maybe he will never understand you need to be a 100% sure before you go ahead and have a termination a baby really does change your life and its hard work and i dont think anyone is ever really ready for it i dont think theres ever a right time i was 18 when i had my first and i look back and think off all the things i could have done and i still dont regret having him things werent ideel but we did the best we could and it turns out we did a good job when your old you wont look back and think about what you had you will think about your loved ones and the happy memorys youve shared
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