A
female
age
30-35,
*ososad
writes:I LOVED MY BOYFRIEND VERYYYY MUCH SOOOO. we had been together 3 1/2 months. when he dumped me. I have bipolar, and paranoia. so the relationship was always a bit strained with my constant downs, and ups, and constantly wondering what my boyfriend was up too (cheating on me or not). in a way i it was my fault for being the way i am and taking it out on him too much. Well anways i fell pregnant bout 2 months into our relationship. Was gonna keep it cause i dont believe in abortions, but he didnt. I loved him ,and still love him more than hell ever know. So i took the chance, and at seven weeks got an abortion to sort his life out . BIG MISTAKE!! two days later he dumps me, saying he cant deal with my depression or paranoia anymore, BY TEXT!!! i feel so hollow and twisted inside. i just want him back, hes the biggest love of my life. how do i get him back?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2009): I want to repeat what others have said: Keeping the pregnancy going would not have kept your BF or improved things. Almost nobody feels very good after an abortion regardless of where they stand on the morality of it. An abortion is not a way to avoid difficult and painful feelings. It's something that people do in spite of those feelings because they feel it's best in the long run. It still tends to be a very painful process even when you totally feel it was the right thing to do. You are not alone in this, not at all. As for your BF, what a douchebag. If he was gonna break up with you he really timed it perfectly to ensure maximum emotional damage. You should look upon this as a demonstration of just how good a choice you made by not making him a father in a few months.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2009): Ok, honey, here is the thing, your craving and desperation for the creep back is part of your bipolar disorder, you fear abandonment and your attachments to people tend to be pretty shallow.....you don't love this guy, you just can't stand him rejecting you. And who could, what he did by text is heartless and cruel.
That said, I think you made the right decision at your age to get the abortion, you are not in a place in your life where you can offer a baby a good life, and you owe it to YOURSELF to have a good life. You need to learn from your mistakes though. What are you doing having unprotected sex in the first place, and why would you think if you had the baby he would have stuck around. He wouldn't have. You barely dated, a three and a half month relationship is not very long at all and you really did not know him well enough to love him. You were infatuated and that is about it....
Get some help from your doctors to deal with your loss of this guy, the way he treated you and to come to terms with your decisin to abort, you have to find peace with your decision. And I don't believe that at 7 weeks gestation you have a baby, you have a very small fetus. And biologically you did not do anything wrong. I wish for you that you had done it earlier, but that is not what happened for you....And the right wing conservatives and Catholics are going to tell you how morally wrong you are, but those are based on religuous beliefs and not all religions believe the same way. I am a Christian, and I think early termination of a pregnancy is not killing a human life....I do think however that it should never be a form of birth control....so figure out how not to find yourself in this place again where you have to make this kind of a choice. Take the birth control pill, get the implants, do something to make yourself unable to get pregnant until you are married and ready to plan your family and you will some day be able to do that....
Let this guy go, you don't want him back, trust me, he isn't worth it.
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A
female
reader, triedit  +, writes (11 March 2009):
 You need to stay on your meds, that's number one.
You need to see a counselor--if you aren't already.
And you need to forget about this asswipe. He's useless.
THEN you need to invest in contraception because at your young age and with a mental issue, you are in no shape to have a baby yet.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2009): Having a baby would NOT, repeat NOT have tied your horrible ex-boyfriend to you!!! And you know what? You would not NEED or have WANTED to keep him under those circumstances!Look, you're 16 or 17. You are telling us you suffer from bi-polar and depression, plus are paranoid. Are you under the care of a doctor? I hope so because you need to be treated for these conditions - and they ARE treatable, even though it is by no means easy. I cannot urge you strongly enough to get counselling with a psychiatrist or psychologist who you can trust and talk to about the things you are dealing with. You should be receiving medical care for your depression and bi-polar if you aren't already receiving care.Believe me, upset as you are that you had an abortion, having a baby now with all the problems you face, now THAT would have been a HUGE MISTAKE. The last thing you need.Going back to your ex-boyfriend: I know you are very very hurt because he dumped you. But look at it this way: he gave you a sort of wake-up call by telling you he can no longer deal with your problems - and you yourself are aware that it was partly your doing. BUT: depression and bi-polar are illnesses and because of that, perhaps your behavior is not completely under your control. So: DON'T attempt to get him back! And please don't try to get into another relationship until, with the help of your doctor, you are on the road to recovery!By the way, what about your parents and family? You need their love and support at this point......
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