A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:(I'm an 18 year old girl) For the past few years I've been unsure about my sexuality. I find certain guys (usually gay guys or metrosexuals) goodlooking, but I'm too scared to have sex or get into a relationship. I always blow them off..I was in self-denial about liking girls but now I find myself looking at girls more often and always wondering if they're lesbians..I don't know why I do this. I find girls very attractive, but I went to a gay club this weekend and was uncomfortable when girls were hitting on me. So could it be that I am not interested romantically in girls or boys? Would that make me asexual? I mean, I find some guys hot, and some girls hot, but I think the whole relationship/sex thing freaks me out. I can't imagine myself in a relationship.
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male
reader, adamskidude +, writes (14 October 2009):
 It sounds like you havnt been shown the wonders of a good relationship yet. You shouldnt be afraid of them, its great to love but its even better to be loved back.Put your neck out there and give it a try, start off with hetrosexual i think though, then move onto anything else once youve got the basics down :)kthxbai ^^
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2009): You're probably not gay after all, sweetheart. But just to make sure, you might want to stop by my place tonight so we can sort this problem of yours out properly. Don't forget the champagne.
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A
male
reader, Candleman  +, writes (14 October 2009):
 Do you masturbate? If so, what is in your thoughts when you do so? This could help you understand your sexuality more.
So the thought of a relationship is something you don't see yourself in. By relationship, it is assumed the traditional dedicated/monagamous kind. You said that sex is something that freaks you out/scares you.
What about the notion of a non-committed relationship that leads its way to sex. Basically a friend w/ benefits.
That way you don't have the whole relationship responsibility, yet you can get close enough to the person in order to feel comfortable having sex with them.
It is very possible that the reason the girls at the bar turned you off is because it is so 'in your face.' Not being experienced, their 'come ons' freak you out(taps into you fear) which kills the desire.
If you take the time and get to know someone that a. you have the spark for. and b. is patient and understands your desires, you may find what you are looking for.
Remember that the fear in regards to sex can only be overcome by experiencing it. The unknown is very scary. You need someone that will be patient and understanding. There are plenty of these people out there.
Just remember as you are searching yourself to stay true to how you feel. You should determine your identity, not society.
Good Luck to You
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2009): i think ur just curious about your sexualality. give it time and don't rush into anything. you are still young and will learn more about your self over time. there also may be a strong possibility your bi which there is nothing wrong but be sure within your self before u make any decisions about your sexuality in life :) im 27 and have experimented with men because i wasn't sure about my sexualality but at 27 im starting to be more confortable with being bi you may need to experiment a lil bit to see if your feelings are what they are but do it when the time is right never rush into anything you don't wanna do just believe in your heart and your feelings. hope i was much help :)
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