A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok i am 16.... i'm mature for my age and look like im 19-22.... i hooked up with my friends brother who is 25...when we first hooked up he didn't know how old i was but assumed i was at least 18... i'd known him for awhile but we had never spoke... he found out my age about 3 weeks later and was alittle spooked at first but then with time began 2 relax with me. we lived down the block from each other and i knew his whole family and his where abouts... now we've been dating for a year which i cant even believe. we love each other very much and i've begun to grow up with him... i've learned alot with him... i think that our relationship has helped me more then it has hurt me... i dont think its corrupted my innocense because i havent changed much since i've been with him..... his family knows about us and for the most part approve... however my parents just found out not 2 long ago... making it harder for me 2 see him... i dont want to strain the relationship but i dont know what i should do.... please help.... give advice... not lectures please... i've heard and thought of it all... i cant help who i love...
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female
reader, @li +, writes (18 January 2008):
 i am in a same situation!i am 16 and he is 23. his whole family is okay with us but mine isn't! my family is trying to keep me away from him but we have tried everything to be together. i am trying to talk to my parents everyday about it so i could try to make them understand and hope they would be okay with it. i think if you both love each other then you should fight to be together.
A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (9 January 2008):
 Hi
I am 20 and my bf is 31. My parents didnt approve of our relationship at first but his parents were ok. I had huge problems with my family. We started going out in September 2006 and they only allowed him to come and see me at home in March 2007 - That took alot. I was constantly speaking to my mum and she was trying to get throught to my dad. My parents never liked the idea of our relationship because of his family (they never got on due to a problem that they had and they dont speak at all) They never had a problem with our age gap. Do your parents find that a problem? Just stick together with your bf. You need to fight this together and you would conquer it. Things are so cool now between my parents and my bf - We even went on holiday together during December. I think once they get to knoe your bf and how he treat and loves you then they would adapt to the idea. I think that you should speak to which ever parent you are closer with.
Regards,mail me if you wanna chat, i ahve been exactly where you are
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A
female
reader, sexi +, writes (9 January 2008):
Hi
I am 20 and my bf is 31. My parents didnt approve of our relationship at first but his parents were ok. I had huge problems with my family. We started going out in September 2006 and they only allowed him to come and see me at home in March 2007 - That took alot. I was constantly speaking to my mum and she was trying to get throught to my dad. My parents never liked the idea of our relationship because of his family (they never got on due to a problem that they had and they dont speak at all) They never had a problem with our age gap. Do your parents find that a problem? Just stick together with your bf. You need to fight this together and you would conquer it. Things are so cool now between my parents and my bf - We even went on holiday together during December. I think once they get to knoe your bf and how he treat and loves you then they would adapt to the idea. I think that you should speak to which ever parent you are closer with.
Regards,mail me if you wanna chat, i ahve been exactly where you are
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (1 January 2008):
 You say you're mature for your age? That may be in some senses. Maturity comes from a wide variety of different directions. One direction, which is very important in considering maturity, is not making a decision that can possibly affect someone in a negative manner.
What would you think if even a friend of yours told of your relationship, and somehow the authorities were notified and made an arrest for statutory rape, also known as (3rd degree sexual assault), or (indecent liberties with a minor), depending on where you live. You're decision could ruin his life, prison time, sex offenders registry, everything. That doesn't make your decision seem mature.
Did you know if they were notified, you would have no say in it. He'd be prosecuted by the state?
From that side, how mature would you say your decision was? You're taking your wants and desires and placing them above the life and possible happiness of another.
Maturity comes when a decision is made that is their is a possible negative affect to someone else, that negative affect changes the decision that has been made, even if it means giving up personal desire.
Your parents are only protecting you, which from birth, they have not only the right, but the duty to do so. You should be greatful to have parents who care that much. I've met quite a few that could really give a crap less. It may be difficult for you now, but later you'll be thankful for the caring their doing now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007): The key to convincing your parents that you are mature enough to handle a relationship with a much older man is to act consistently maturely. So I'd advise a calm conversation with your folks - don't lose your temper even if they do. Admit to them that you did not let this boy know your age immediately and that the knowledge has concerned him, this makes him appear more responsible. Tell them you both have concerns about the age gap and that you want to work with them to set some ground rules to help ensure that the relationship does not end in regret. They'll want to know you are worried for your own safety and not blase about it. For example, maybe the next few dates could be in the company of older adults they trust while they get to know and hopefully trust this guy. The age gap is not as bad as it may seem and if he is patient and tries hard I am sure he can win your parents round by both of you acting responsibly. However the best way to alienate them is to act like the child you claim not to be and lie to them further. Getting caught making out - or much worse, having sex - will convince them you cannot be trusted to look after your own destiny yet.
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