A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Hi im 15 yrs old i lost my viriginty to a guy i thought i loved he said he felt the same but it came time for me to realize that he wasnt looking for love he just wanted one thing and that isnt it well anyways the condom broke he left me and now im facing whether or not to tell my parents and the babies father .. im with this other guy and he treats me right and respects me i dont want to lose him i just dont no want to do so can anyone plz give me advice ?
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (1 February 2010):
There is no way to avoid this situation - you are just going to have to be honest with everyone. Because if you are going to keep this baby then soon you will have a baby bump and it will be pretty obvious to your parents and new boyfriend that you are having a baby.
So first of all - have you decided if you are keeping the baby? I think you need to talk to your parents so they can advise you on what to do. Yes your parents will be angry and disappointed with you, but that wont last for very long. They are your parents and they love you, they only want what is best for you and to see you happy. So after the initial shock wears off, then they will want to support you and help you with this situation. If you are just honest with them - tell them you made a mistake by sleeping with this guy but you thought he wanted a relationship but instead he used you for sex. Explain that you were using protection but the condom broke. All you can do is be honest - that is the best thing to do in this situation.
As for telling the babies father - I would wait until you have spoke to your parents before you tell him. I think maybe once your parents are over the initial shock then it will be a good idea to get the babies father and his parents together with your parents, so you can all talk and discuss what the next step is going to be.
As for your current boyfriend - well if you are keeping the baby then you obviously need to tell him. Be prepared for him to leave you - after all he is not going to want to bring up another guy's child. That is a harsh fact of life I'm afraid - at his age he is not going to want to stick around to raise a baby that isnt even his own. But if you are having an abortion, then you should still tell him but you never know, if he is a nice guy then he might stand by you and help you through this. But again, be honest with him. Explain why you slept with him and that the condom broke - as long as you are honest then that is the most important thing.
Hiding your pregnancy and lying will only cause more problems, make sure you tell your parents as soon as you can because you need an adult who loves you to guide you through this.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2010): can you confide in a close truthworthy friend about this? I am in a similar situation, i am pregnant and the boyfriend has left me high and dry though i gave him my virginity - i'm 21, so even older doesn't mean wiser. I have personally found confiding in a friend has helped me cos i realise what i wanted to do which in my case is keep the baby, so then i had to decide how i wanted to go from there ... who to tell and when and how etc. Maybe you want to abort, well then you'd need to talk to your doctor etc. For now, try to figure out what you want - then move from there..
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A
female
reader, brownskinbeauty +, writes (1 February 2010):
well honestly im saying get an abortion unless your parents are going to be ok with it and are going to help you with your child and if the babys dad is going to help you out with the baby..but if not get an abortion..i been in a case similar to yours so any questions write me in a private message
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