A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm pregnant and the guy wants me to keep it however he is 18 and I know it is illegal. I also don't want to tell my parents about it. The father and I have always talked about starting a life together once I leave school and have kids but he wants me to have this one and run away with him. My dad doesn't know about me and him and I dont want to explain any of this to him. Should I keep this or not. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (16 September 2009):
You really need to get some help. Your not going to be able to keep this a secret very long, and this guy should be prosecuted.
A
male
reader, Candleman +, writes (16 September 2009):
 You need to first consider can you live with having an abortion? Read support forums of people who have had abortions and see where they are coming from to try to gain insight. It will create feelings of extreme guilt most likely, and can you live with this? How far along are you in your pregnancy. Psychologically it seems it would be easier if you are early on. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to make the decision. Understand that you are very young and if you have child, then your life changes forever. All your hopes and dreams become altered because now you are a mother. It doesn't mean that life stops, it just means that gone are the fun teenage years. You miss these and go directly to adulthood. Understand that being a mother is a very rewarding experience and you can make it if you chose to do so. You just have to now work harder than your friends in order to go to school and suppport a child. As far as not telling your dad and running away?? Only you know this and unless your dad is a major asshole and/or dangerous, then once he gets over the shock, then his and your families support will be vital in raising a child. If your boyfriend thinks running away will keep the law away, then he's not thinking. It would probably make it worse if you ran away as then he would be kidnapping.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): I did not want to tell my parents when I got pregnant either. They were not aware of the relationship I was in, and I was very nervous about the way they would react. I tried several times to tell them, but was not able to. I tried to hide my pregnancy as long as possible. Finally, I wrote my parents a letter, explaining everything. This was the easiest way for me to deal with the situation, and in the long run it worked out. They read the letter when I was not home so the initial reaction was something I did not have to face. By the time we talked and were face to face they had calmed down and were ready to help me in any way I needed. Just a suggestion, because I think you really need to tell him. You are going to need the support and he might be more understanding than you think
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 September 2009):
 This isn't the same girl who thinks she's pregnant by her boyfriend's brother, is it? Because if it is, you have a whole lot of issues and you need some adult help. You need it anyway, honestly, you do. You're not doing a very good job managing your life at the moment and I don't think lying, hiding things from your parents, running away and that type of problem mismanagement is going to do anything except get you into more trouble.
I understand why you wouldn't want to tell your dad about all of this, but sometimes in life we have to do things we don't want to do, tell people things they don't want to hear, take the consequences of our actions, because that is what mature people do.
Running away to where? With what money? How will you raise a newborn with no help from family? I see my friends and family members with their children, and there is no way on earth they could do all they do without the help of their friends and family. Just going out to buy diapers (nappies) can be a 2 hour ordeal when you are trying to manage with a baby. They need clothes, bedding, nappies, food, furniture, a roof over their head, heat, baths, more nappies, food, baths, toys, more nappies, food, baths, sleep, tidying up from the spit-up milk, visits to the doctor to find out why they are screaming all night and feel like they are burning up, what those red spots on their little backsides are, and still more nappies. And baby soap.
You are making the choice to have sex, you have to make the choice to be responsible about the consequences. Yes, ths is probably illegal, an 18 year old boy impregnating a 15 year old girl. But realistically, what are your choices?
Your family is going to find out anyway, it's much better if you manage the delivery of the news, rather than them finding out through some error. Sit your dad (and mum?) down and tell them what has been happening with you. If you can't face them alone, do you have a sibling or a close relative, like an aunt or a gran, someone who can sit with you and help you tell them?
Please try to be brave and try to think logically. You have some big decisions to make and you might as well do them with all the help you can get.
Good luck, I hope everything turns out okay for you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): Think about your own future. How will you bring up this child when you have to hide? Your boyfriend may be totally in love with you now, but you can never be 100% sure that he will stay with you and the child. I know these laws are fucked, but he could go to jail for it! What about your own education and career? You should go to a women's organization for advice. Of course only if you have a good feeling that they won't rat you out.
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