A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I have a bit of a problem. It may seem insignificant compared with many of the other questions on this site, but I really would like to have a boyfriend. Ever since pre-school, when I had a 'crush' on several boys in my class, I have dreamed of having a boyfriend. I am not at all looking to be serious! I just would like to have someone out there who feels for me, besides my parents/best friends. I had always assumed this would happen to me around 13 or 14. The problem is that nothing has happened. I've only danced with a few boys, and I don't see much potential to have a boyfriend. I wonder what the problem is because I am smart (A student) I have a friendly personality, and I'm not hideous. But I'm going to high school next year! I don't want to be the person who doesn't have a boyfriend until college. Anyway, at my school dance last week, I got up the courage to ask a boy to dance. He is sort of in my friend circle, and I think he's really funny, smart, and handsome (Let's call him Bernard). He agreed and we danced for about 2 seconds before the song ended! When the next slow song came up, he walked over and asked me if I wanted to dance. I said yes, and things weren't awkward at all. The confusing part is that on Monday, neither one of us said "hi" to each other at school. I don't have any classes with Bernard and I don't normally talk to him, but I had expected that one of us would say something. On facebook, a friend of mine from a different school who has met Bernard once started chatting with him and saying we should all hang out. She doesn't even know him! He must have thought she was stalking him or something, and that I'd put her up to it. I was really pissed at my friend then. My other friend, let's call her Lisa, was talking to Bernard at school and asked Bernard if he would ask me out. Bernard must think I asked Lisa to do that too! It reflects on my character as being desperate and pushy, Of course I don't want him to ask me out so quickly, I would like to get to know each other better. Now it's quite obvious to him that I like him, so if I want to talk to him or suggest hanging out in a group, it will immediately look like I'm being really pushy which is quite unlike me--I'm shy around boys. I can't get to know him without it being awkward! I've basically been avoiding him and I don't know what to do. Bernard seems really sweet, and I'd like to get to know him better, but I simply can't.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 February 2011):
 Ok well first of there is nothing wrong with you so dont worry. Most 14 year olds havent had a boyfriend and yet its at the age where the really want one. So dont panic there is nothing wrong with you.
You say you are shy and i bet most guys your age are the same and dont know what to say to a girl or how to ask them out. You are at the age where you are learning how to ask boys out and yes it can be really hard but you will get there eventually. You need to have more confidence in yourself.
you like this bernard guy so you need to start showing him that. Ok you think he will see you as needy but it was your friends that behaved this way not you. So now you just need to take it slow. Any time you see him at school smile and say hello to him. Thats not that hard to do. Then once you feel comfortable doing that move on to small talk with him ask him how he is ect ect. Soon you will have enough confidence to talk to him and hopefully he will ask you out.
Just remember you are in no rush to date guys. As much as you want a boyfriend at the moment it will come to you when you are ready so try and not rush it. good luck darling.
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