A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This will be quite long so lease bear with me.I came from a good loving family and has good reputation. My mom, my aunts, all the ladies in my family were married first before sex. Except for one, my aunt who was left by the man who didn't know they had a child together.But my aunt was 22, it isn't that bad.. Now came the 2nd person- me. Yes, I am 13 (14 soon), and pregnant. From first kiss to first intercourse, lead to the first baby. There really isn't a problem about financial matters, my 17 year old boyfriend is quite rich actually. The girls in his family got pregnant early; his mom was 15, and sister was 19. Guess it runs in the family.His family is willing to take me in, knowing that my family will not be in favor of all of this. I'm running away in 3 months, when it shows.. My boyfriend is very loving and is willing to marry when I'm older.I am a straight A student and not to brag, quite advanced in all subjects. While pregnant I am going to be homeschooled, to keep the knowledge. My bf is going college and is also working for extras. My problem is my parents and brothers will go psycho, their ONLY daughter will be gone, just like that, without knowing anything...I would be giving them gifts each even e.g birthdays/xmas. I just really don't know if it's a good plan..I'll eventually tell them...but not soon..Also I wanted to enjoy my teenage years but I guess im stuck being a mother. haha:) I thought about abortion...not only did my bf go nutts, he also cried and said' please tell me ur jk '... I know its wrong but what do i do.. I wanna keep but i just don't know ifim prepared, no lectures please, i already know, i need ADVICES. thank you. God Bless.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009): http://www.dearcupid.org/question/pregnant-at-15-and-madly-in-love-help.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/pregnant-and-scared.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-13-and-pregnant-how-do-i-run.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/13-years-old-and-pregnant-unsure-of-what.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-13-and-scared-that-i-might-be.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-cope-with-being-pregnant-at.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/13-pregnant-from-first-time-and-it-was.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-13-year-old-friend-is-pregnant.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-only-13-pregnant-with-twins-afflicted-with.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-young-and-pregnant-how-should-i-go.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-am-13-and-i-want-to-lose.html
Just in case you crave more words of advice or the knowledge that there's someone out there who can relate.
Keep us posted.
~SY.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009): Your are too young to know what is best for you .Tell your parents they will understand and help you ! Know one else will be there for you but them at the end of the day. give the baby to a family that can not conceive and do not have sex again till you are mature enough to use protection!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): I (sort of) feel ur pain. I was 13 and i got my girlfriend pregnant. We weren't thinking. We just decided to tell our parents. Anyways, We chose to give her up 4 adoption. It was impossible to take care of a child at 13. Her parents adopted her, so she could grow up with her. Your situation is different though.
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A
female
reader, dontjudgeme1  +, writes (3 June 2009):
u seem like a pretty smart girl which is a plus ; you and your boyfirned/baby's father shud go to the doctors together to hear about your options your boyfirend clearly wants the kid but hoestly its totally up to you ; im 15 and 4 months preggo =) but you shud but i dont think u shud wait til your 3 months to tell your parents thats what i did but the outcome was better then wat i was expecting ; but honeslty think about it ; do u really think u can raise a kid right not still and school and everything i shouldnt be one to talk but jus think about whats best for you and him `
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (27 May 2009):
 My, my, what a situation. You got great advice here, I just want to throw in that you should also go to a good doctor and talk to them about your options. It sounds like to me that an abortion may be fitting in your situation - only because the only reason you're thinking about keeping the baby is because your boyfriend freaked out about the notion of an abortion. That's really not the best reason to keep a child, because it is YOUR body, YOUR life and ultimately, YOUR decision.
But, if you do decide to keep the baby, I think that talking to your family is the first thing to do. They will be just as upset with you running away as they would with you being pregnant. Give them the chance to help you through this tough time.
Just because you have a baby doesn't mean you have to give up your education, hopes or dreams, it will just make all of those things a lot harder to reach. You seem like a very bright girl, so it may not be too difficult to reach your goals in life with a child.
But, you are thirteen. Having a child at this age... oh my. And an abortion may be something that you should really, seriously think about. Talk to your family, but mostly talk to YOURSELF, really think deep into yourself about what YOU want to do.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (27 May 2009):
 Well not to be rude but are you really mature enough to handle a baby if your planning on running away? Its all good saying your boyfriend is going to marry you and his family will take you in ect ect, but your still very young and to be honest young love does not last forever and if he finds someone else you really think he will put you first? The only people you can depend on is your family i suggest you tell them and be mature instead of running off and leave them feeling hurt because there daughter doesnt trust them enough to tell them she is pregnant, sure they will be mad,dissapointed,shocked, possibly a little disgusted there 13 year old daughter is not only having sex but has managed to get herself pregnant. But at the end of the day they are your family they love you and want to protect you do the right thing and tell them
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (27 May 2009):
 Abortion is your choice at the end of the day. If you want to do it, you should do it even if your boyfriend does not agree. I guess that when you are at home each night looking after the baby, he will often be out having fun with his friends. So he is not the one giving up his 'fun' teenage and university years.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009): My first piece of advice is to tell your own family straight away. Sure they may not be happy about it but they would feel worse if you ran away - they would feel tat you couldn't trust them. And you said yourself, they are a good loving family - they deserve to know. And they would care about you too.
You are lucky that you have so many options for you. I guess in the end its your choice. But I would say tell your own parents and don't run away from them. x
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