A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, I've had sex twice this month today and last week on Sunday i think or maybe 2 weeks ago Sunday. I have recently been feeling more tired and i've had belly ache nearly everyday and certain smells when i walk into food shops it makes me feel sick when i'm eating. I'm ok, its just when i'm in warm places like bus's i get really hot once i've eaten and i feel sick.I think i may be pregnant but i am really scared because i'm 13 and if i am i would need an abortion. i want to go on the pill to be more protected i am using condoms at the moment but i know for sure i cant because i've asked my mum and she started asking me awkward questions and looking at me like i'm sexually active. I am but she doesn't no that she found out i had sex once with this boy i've been with 1 year. I'm still with him now and i really trust him but now i feel like i'm pregnant.I would like to get tested or something but i don't no where to go. I live in essex, hainult. Where's the nearest place i can go? If i am pregnant will i need a parent there to get a abortion also how do i like go in to a doctors place or clinic and what do i say? Please help, i knoq you lot will be angry but i'm really mature and i just want to do the best thing for me xx Can anyone help mainly people who have been pregnant near enough my age and had a abortion xxx thanks so much
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abortion, be pregnant, condom, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): i had an abortion at 15. if you go to Connexions if you have one in your area, if not then go to your doctor. they dont tell your parents, and you dont need a parent with you, but you need a gaurdian, so an over 18 friend, sibling etc will have to go with you. good luck x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): hello don't get an abortion your giving up on your child u can raise that child im 14 and preganat im going to raise my child raise your child don't get and abortion
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes thankyou people my period is due but i have had belly cramps and thing i think im ok but im just trying to be sure my boyfriend is completely aware of this as we talk about everything together i no what to do know if i am soo thanks everyone for your help and you actually boosted my self asteem to go to the doctors of course i definetly no i couldnt cope with a baby i no for sure im matture and i do think about the baby before myself but i think its awfull for abortion but its the best thing to do for myself my family my boyfriend and the baby aswell x
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A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (14 January 2008):
 Hey, have you tried going to your nearest Brook centre? or family planning clinic, there are also Kiss clinics and GUM clinics which help with this, try gooling your area and in the search bar type your area and something like family planning or something, find a clinic and get tested or but a home pregnancy test.
I'm not sure on under 16's but are you sure an abortion is what you want, you could always give the baby up for adoption if you are not ready to be a mother. Although I'm young I was pregnant and recently had a miscarriage and even though it wasn't my fault of my baby dying, I felt awful, choosing for your baby to die you aparrently feel worse. My sister had an abortiona dn she said it was the worst thing she had ever done and regrets it.
The pill you can find about about from your nearest family planning clinic and if you dont feel ready to tell your mother you're sexually active just claim your periods are heavy and a friend reccomended them as they ease them up a little.
Message me if you need to talk about anything else
RavenXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): hey
i don't live near you but here are a few things you need to do...get tested, to check if you really are pregnant.I know where i live there are clinics for teenagers, try searching the net and I also know at school there's a bunch of posters about health sex ed and free clinics you can go to if you have a health card. Check at your school...but if you tell a teacher I think, by law they may have to tell your parents.
Is there any friend's parents you could trust and would not tell yours? Abortions here are about 80 dollars, depending on how far you are. Also, are you willing to tell your boyfriend? Beware, he might not like what you have to tell him and who knows if he will be supportive.
Although, if you know 100% you can't tell your mom then do this as hush-hush as possible. Some people might disagree, but with the society we live in now it's hard to tell everyone whats going on. You are too young to go to your doctor because I doubt she will keep patient confidentiality and will tell your mom...unless it's 13 where you are, but here its 16.
Point is, you're too young for you to actually do anything about this, I know you're mature and mentally you say you are ready and physically yes, but socially you are not. You can't drive, you don't work, but maybe you have an allowance for free pregnancy tests at a clinic, your boyfriend can't support you if he's the same age. Having this baby may ruin your chances to do anything, and i know some people might fight me on that but, if you're mom's not supportive and your boyfriend leaves you, it's going to be tough. If you're tough, have it, because you might regret not having the baby. Just know the choices you make today are going to effect your tomorow.
An abortion is looking like your only way out here. Now you must find someone you can trust, possibly someone older with more experience, like maybe a cousin, sister or older friend who can help you with the process. Don't be afraid though, if worst comes to worse you'll have to tell your mother and hopefully she'll be supportive.
For abortion clinics, you should call anonymously if you find one and ask if you need a parent there or not. I found one on the internet:
Marie Stopes International
Free phone 0800 716 390
Marie Stopes International provides counselling, abortion services and referral for people of all ages. Fees are charged for services. Centres in London, Leeds, Manchester and Essex. For all enquiries ring the free phone number.
This is the website: http://www.womenshealthlondon.org.uk/leaflets/pregab/pregabprint.html
you could take public transit to get there, one day after school, take a friend you can really trust and won't tell the whole world if you guys get in a fight. seriously take someone you can trust!
http://www.gynemed.org/center.html
...i don't know about that one, you can look into it more closely...I sucked at geography, hopefully you live there.
http://www.zettai.net/find/essex/private-clinics/
that maybe?
Don't panic!! Who am i kidding, you're probably really panicking. Check your phone book for clinics as well.
hopefully everything works out for you and please, i know you're mature, but are you ready for the consequences? you wrote "you lot will be angry", I'm not angry, just worried, so if you do have an abortion, be careful, think about waiting longer till you have sex. You can have sex whenever you want...but will you be 13 and un-pregnant ever again?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): Hi,
First thing, although I cant answer for sure, you probably wont be pregnant. The best thing to do would be to go to the chemists and buy a pregnancy test. You can do this at any age. Go somewhere a bit away from your house if you are worried. You can also go to your doctors confidentially for a test, your mum wont find out.
If I was you I would get a test from Boots or somewhere, and do it in school. Then you need to go to the doctors or to your local NHS walk in centre, and talk to them about going on the pill. There are local family planning centres:
Youth Information and Advice Shop (open monday 4-7)
Redbridge Foyer
Sylvan Road
(Off Hainault Street)
Ilford, Essex, IG1 4EQ
0208 708 0540
They will give you advice and contraception and test you. You dont need to make an appointment.
When you go to see a doctor or nurse, you explain calmly what has happened. Although you might feel as though they are judging you, they have seen girls of your age in this situation before. It shows you are mature that you want to sort it out, rather than bury your head in the sand.
If I was you though, I would buy a test and do it somewhere away from home. If you can have a *trustworthy* friend nearby, so much the better. Then if you are pregnant, you can consider your options.
Try not to worry, get yourself down to the chemists and take things one step at a time
xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): Before thinking of abortion, think if you are actually pregnant. 2 weeks, you wouldn't be getting symptoms so soon, is your period late? You have to be certain your pregnant, so take a test. It seems like it's all in your head.
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