A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 12 years. We have two children together (9 and 4 years old). I feel that getting married is very important but my boyfriend always has an excuse as to why it is not feasible. I am getting tired of waiting though and I feel that if he is not willing to make this commitment after 12 years then maybe it is time to move on. I have explained this to him but it just ends in an argument. Nothing gets solved and I hate arguing over something that I feel is necessary for me to feel our lives are complete. What should I do?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 July 2010):
 My brother and his now wife "dated" almost 20 year before they got married. If it wasn't for their two kids, I'm pretty sure they would still be "dating" in another 20 or 40 years.
Getting married is a commitment, but so is being in a relationship, the ring on the finger is no indicator of how long or how well a relationship turns out.
If your relationship is otherwise good why is it so important to you? You think he will love you more or better if you get married? He's obviously loving you and serious about being with you.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 July 2010):
12 years together and 2 children? That's pretty damned committed to be fair. If you really believe that marriage means that much to you, then you need to tell him that. But don't try to force it. It's clear that this man feels marriage isn't for him. There will no doubt be a reason for that. If you really want to end a 12 year relationship, which has been committed and has children in it, then do it. But just because you're married doesn't mean you're committed. Married men and women cheat, and marriages can still go wrong. I think it would be a shame to end a committed relationship for this. But, like I say, if it means that much, end it with your boyfriend and find a man who will marry you.
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