A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:In 5 years my boyfriend has had 12 jobs. The longest term of employment is 10 months and this is with his current job and he is wanting to quit. We live together, have bills and I have 2 kids from a previous marriage. He owes child support on 2 other kids which he never pays or sees as they live 7 hours away. He is in a big financial mess in several areas of his life. he was finally making enough money to get it together and work toward a future, but now he wants to quit because he went over his boss' head with an issue and it backfired. he got transferred, took a paycut and he says this is humiliating. I look back at his other jobs and he always tends to complain about how he is being treated by his superior. That they talk to him like a dog and he isn't gonna put up with it. He has left several jobs due to this reason. And that is what he is saying now. i find it hard to believe that in every job out there he gets treated horribly. He is the common demonitator. he liked his job up until a month ago when this all started. I've been pretty much making him go to work by reminding him of the consequences of not having any work and there isn't much I alternative. but he is moping around, depressed, saying i should support him in this decision because i don't know what he is going through. He says I don't understand. My job has people who are difficult or bullies, and I have been through some hard situations at work, but I do what I can to work through them and try to keep my job. Basically last year, I made him move out of state to find work because he was unemployed for most of the year and I couldn't afford him anymore. I thought he maybe figured it out now that he had to do whatever to stay employed. He says he is gonna quit tomorrow because they are gonna find a way to fire him anyway. at least if he gets fired he can draw unemployment, but he says that will hurt him in getting a new job. is it wrong of me to tell him to stick it out and stay in a job that he feels is demeaning and humiliating. he says he is being taunted, teased and called names. is it even worse that I am feeling if he quits, then I need to end it because I am tired of waiting on him to get it together.
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female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (13 July 2011):
 The more you share about him, the happier I am I cut things off with my last bf.
He was about the same age and constantly whined how people he worked with told him he was not too bright, that he cut corners, was too easily offended, etc.
Well he DID. One day I told him that his coworkers were RIGHT. He could either change his attitude and work ethic or keep the habit of going from job to job trying to find people who will "get him". A job is not for a social club!
It is to provide you with things you need and want.
Since I already had that kind of man in my previous marriage, once I recognized the signs, I told him that I did not want to date him anymore. He was pissed and told me how I was missing out on a great guy, etc.
I already raised two kids. I expect men to already be DONE.
Your bf DOES sound like a dumb ass. Frankly, I would be telling him, "Not having a job does not make you less of a man in my eyes. That makes you irresponsible. Your ATTITUDE makes you less of a man in my eyes, because you should have learned these life lessons a LONG time ago."
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2011): You are absolutely right and have nothing to feel guilty about. He probably thought that by working for a few months he bought himself a reprieve from the conditions you laid out.
I agree that the problem is him. Stand your ground and do what's best for you and your family.
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A
female
reader, Tyedyedturtle +, writes (13 July 2011):
 This may sound harsh, but he sounds like a whiny dead beat who has problems with authority types. He doesn't pay for or see two of his children? That is horrible and, frankly, disgusts me. He needs to get his act together and be an adult for crying out loud. Don't enable him or support his dead beat ways. This behavior calls for an ultimatum!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2011): Frankly I'm more worried about you... this guy sounds so draining. You already have two children, now you want to a third?
This is a pretty obvious situation; he's a mooch, lazy, and you've been indulging him. For the sake of your children and for your well being, I'd consider leaving him as soon as possible.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, they tease him about how he tried to get his boss fired, but he got transferred. like "ha,ha", call him things like "dipS**t", dumba**", says he is given the grunt work and worst jobs, he says they are trying to push him out the door. he throws the guilt trip of "fine, I'll go to work". "i know I'll be less of a man in your eyes if I don't". this is getting old everyday. I just wanna say, do what you want. then I know what that will be, he'll quit and in 2 weeks, he won't have another job. Then I'll have to be the bad guy AGAIN. He had a truck that was in repo status, but wouldn't take it back. I kept telling him to return it is the right thing to do. He finally did a much later when he got a letter stating they were gonna file for a felony. I always feel like his parent, i have 2 kids to parent, I don't want a 3rd.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (12 July 2011):
 I find it hard to believe that he gets treated horribly at all 12 jobs, if at any of them. You can't keep babying him. He's a grown man and he needs to realize that every situation or scenario isn't all peaches and roses. It seems he's very immature. How have you managed to stay with him this long? Tell him that if he quits this job, he won't be living off of you anymore. You have yourself and your kids to worry about, not a middle aged man. Tell him to grow up and don't take this from him anymore.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (12 July 2011):
What is he..FIVE years old?
I agree with you. He needs to find a NEW job, before leaving THIS one. If he quits, tell him that he has 2 weeks to find a new job or you are done.
I wonder if he is a difficult employee and gets defensive if someone suggests HE is the problem, not the employer.
Just curious, have you asked him what "names" they call him?
Whatever you decide, refuse to be a SugarMama. Sad to say, but it sounds like you guy has a real problem committing to work or anything "difficult".
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