A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have an open question, I've known this girl for a month, Would you continue to date a girl who was sexually assualted by her male friend at a club? She said it was rape, but I didn't think so in my opinion because she doesn't have any anger against the rapist and she said she forgave him. She said she didn't report, because she is afraid of what people might say and think at court she feels that the guy will set up his friend to hurt her. (1) From what I have written do you think she was raped? (2)Would you give her another chance? She was naive and didn't know the dangers of the streets because she says her parents grows her up in the house and was not allowed to go out. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (19 July 2007):
 There is a very tiny slight chance that she told you this becuase she cheated on you, and would rather make the accusation than to accept responsility for it. The fact that she has "forgiven" him so easily is what makes me wonder.
I would suggest that you make arrangements for her to talk to a rape crisis conselor ASAP. These are confidential, and it would give her the chance to talk about it in private, without worrying about who else would hear about it.
Would I continue to date her? Yes, assuming that it was assult, and not a cheating. You do not judge people for the things that other do to them. You judge them on the things they can control (how to react to it).
Take her to a rape crisis advisor.
-Frank B Kermit
A
female
reader, saphira  +, writes (19 July 2007):
coming from somone who has been sexually assualted in the past. The fact that she told you about the assault, should tell you something, as this is not an issue women would lie about. i believe her 100%, and i know what she must be going through. i was raped at school a few years ago, but no one believed me as i was his friend before the incident. Right now, she needs someone to talk to, and to know that she has somone there for her. I forgave the person who raped me, so i could move on with my life without hate and anger. Just be there for her, and when she is ready to open up to you, she will. Dont push her away, and if your dating her, carry on, but dont pressure her for sex, as this will open the wound and cause friction between the pair of you. Just talk to her and in time she will open up to you.
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