A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend broke up a year long relationship with me two weeks ago, saying "I don't see a future with you, it's not you, it's me, still wanna be friends, blah blah blah..." So, I was upset but I'm moving on. The thing is, he's doing friendly texts like "did you get that promotion?" and "how was your trip?" and I for the most part, ignore them or if I reply they are formal and brief. I guess the problem is that he said he was gonna pick up his stuff, but he hasn't come to get it yet! And it's expensive things like a PS3. Now, I would return them, but his house is far, and honestly, I am giving him his space and I want to work things out. I mean, it's okay if he doesn't, but if he's willing then I am ready to pick up the mantle again. So, I'm not sure if I should drop it off, or what? And, why do you think he hasn't come to get his stuff yet?
View related questions:
broke up, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): May he regrets breaking up, and this is how he's avoiding taking the last step in the process. So long as you have his stuff, he's connected to you.
A
female
reader, Tarianna  +, writes (16 September 2009):
 he left his things for when and if he decides his mind he can come around and has his things as an excuse for that....from my point of veiw that guy doesnt know what he wants but I cant draw that conclusion since I do not know him.....if you want to know where you guys stand ask him...dont be afraid...and if he wants to start disrespecting you in anyway nicely ask him, in a bitch in 2sec manner, why the hell he be texting you if he wants to mve on...let him give it to you straight and stop messing with your heart...wish you the best
...............................
A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (16 September 2009):
 I agree.
But I wouldn't let him setthe date for picking up his things. I would set it for him. Why should you wait around for his date of convenience? He may cancel that date and not even give you notice. You'd have to constantly adjust your schedule. Nope.. I would set a deadline.
"I don't have room for your things. Would you please come by before X date to pick them up? Otherwise I will have to get rid of them myself."
After that date, it's up to you how you dispose of these things.
DO NOT drop them off. That's his problem.
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (16 September 2009):
Hmmm...well you can choose to be "nice" or be slightly bitchy. I think you're doing good so far. His texts that he's sending probably make you think, "Why do you care?" I'm sure he's trying to make nice and not come off as a jerk that just dumped you. However, as far as him getting his things back: if you want to be "nice" you can wait for him to come pick them up whenever he gets around to it (I wouldn't drive to his place to give it back, because if it weren't for him, you wouldn't have to even worry about it), or you can be a little bitchy and say, "I'm tired of seeing you stuff here, so can you please give me a day when you'll pick it up? Otherwise, I'm going to give it to Goodwill." Or you could always pawn it or just throw it in the trash...but I think the latter will get him to finally get his stuff. Then it makes it so he has to pick up his stuff, or it's going bye-bye.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): This relationship may not be over, but what you are doing at this point is admirable. Why would he leave his things?Maybe too lazy to pick them up. Maybe to keep the connection between you. Maybe no reason at all. Don't second guess yourself and try to be analytical. Just sit back quietly, move on with your life, and don't wait for him. If he comes back, let it be a pleasant surprise.
...............................
|
