A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone what do you do when your partner doesn’t make your children and partner a priority we split up for 3 month then we ended up getting back together because he promised things would change he has been working 7 days a week and he doesn’t need to he promised me we would do something with the kids who are 6 and 11 each weekend and once a month we will have a date night which he never happened I have my kids 7 days a week 24hrs a day which don’t get me wrong I absolutely adore my kids and would do anything for them but Everyone needs a break now and again don’t they I work full time as well as sorting kids uniforms and packed lunches and washing done keeping the house clean and tidy and taking kids to school and picking them up and he doesn’t understand when I expect pain to him I need a bit of help from him I feel so stressed and down any ideas what I can say to him that might make him realise what he is doing to me and the kids thank you
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (20 October 2019):
 You split up, he promised certain things so you got back with him and he isn't following through on his promises ….
You might as well be single. If you want to make it work seek counselling, if he wont go with you go by yourself, ask your GP if they can give you a referral.
I hope you and he can sort it out, but if he isn't willing to carry through with his promises I hope you can take the leap and leave.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2019): So after the seperation and getting back together, your husband has not followed thru on date nights or weekend activities, with you and the kids. I doubt that he is really working 7 days per week, unless he is launching a brand new business. He is intentionly staying away from his family and duties as a husband! I would imagine that there is another woman in this equation! Nothing can turn a man into a fool, and make him abandon his resposibilities quicker than getting some side nookie! Tell him to choose what he wants, marriage counseling, or the family divorce court! Trust me, that will get his attention! My prayers are for you OP and your Dear Children!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2019): Just keep suggesting to him he needs to spend more family-time. If he's the sole-breadwinner and pays the bills; I wouldn't be so sure he doesn't need to work seven days a week.
He seems to have a strong work-ethic, if he's such a workaholic; but it also seems he may not be so well-adapted to family-life. There is more to having a family than putting food on the table. You and the kids need facetime and his attention. They need to feel his presence, bond with him as a father; and you need to feel you're still a couple.
Some guys are just really caught-up in providing for their families; and just forget they have to spend time with them as well. He wants everyone to have everything they want or need; but you have to remind him that you need "him" too! He also deserves his rest, and you're willing to do without some things if it means you get to see and spend more time with him.
He's probably too tired to do anything, but rest after a full-week; but I guess you have to stay on him to take time-off to be with the family. Unless he's purposely avoiding you and his children; then that's something you need to address separately. He may feel obligated to feed everyone and put a roof over their heads; but he'd rather not be there otherwise. Ask him directly if that may be the case? If not, then prove it! You're tired of begging and pleading, and you won't accept anymore broken promises. The kids are old enough to realize there's something wrong about this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2019): Sorry I have worded that wrong my kids are at school but even when there at school I am either tidying the house up decorating or at work
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 October 2019):
 First of all, aren't your kids in school 5 days a week? Which should give YOU a bit of a break while you work or do something for you.
Second of all, why does he work 7 days a week?
If he rebuilding a company, self-employed?
I get that more family time is needed, not just for you and the kids, but for him too.
Maybe doing something EVERY week-end is more that he is willing to do, for now. So why not lower that to every other weekend, show him that YOU are willing to compromise but HE needs to be willing to INVEST in you and the kids too.
If you BOTH work (you full time, and him insane hours) there should be money (I'd presume) to hire someone to take care of the house and minor chores. That would AT LEAST take a bit of pressure off you.
And while I absolutely get your point that you want MORE time with him, my guess is HE is trying VERY hard to give you a lifestyle that he think you want and deserve. So he is working is ASS off to GIVE you (and the kids) all the material goods you can desire. He is trying to show you that he is not just the provider but a REALLY good one.
Don't over complicate matters, tell him, I NEED for you to either TAKE the kids to school or pick them up EVERY day. See what he says. Maybe that could be an option.
The thing is, I don't think you can MAKE him want to invest more in the family than he already has, he now is more focused on working to KEEP up with material goods. Is it because he thinks THAT is what a dad/husband/man does? The woman (wife/mother) does EVERYTHING else pertaining to house and kids?
You two have obviously been together a long time if your oldest is 11. So is this NEW behavior from him, or have YOU just decide you want more from him?
What has changed?
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