A
female
age
41-50,
*exascandygirl
writes:Ok, so I read someone else's question, and wonder am I a stalker, or just a typical crazy chick? I had a fling with this totally hot guy I worked with part time. I had, had a crush on him for over a year. when he finally asked me out I was thrilled. We went out had a gret time, he was a great kisser. He however is Jewish, and I am not, so he told me he wanted find someone Jewish. I left him alone, then he invited me over to his place for some "fun". I was confused and wanted to see it for more. I started to send him Myspace messages, asking him if we could date. ( never once did I profess love, or anything crazy like that) Just asked him if he woudl reconsider. I know I came off as depserate. I later, started showing up at work, when I probably did not need to be in the bulding but knew he would be, and I would go to happy hour at a bar, with his closet friends, who were also my work friends. I just wanted him to see me, looking cute and sexy. I never wanted it to seem like I was following him. I only saw him once a week, and maybe sent him a Muspace or text once a week, I never stood outside his place, or called at all hours of the night, or looked up his home #. All of the normal things I would think were stalking. But the final straw came, when he found out people from work knew about our "fun". He became so angry w/me. He grabbed me by the arm and left a bruise and dragged me outside to yell at me. He said to leave him alone and never contact him b/c we were no longer friends and I made him uncomfortable. I thought he was just angry so a few days later, I left him a card and a giftcard at his place to apologize. It was not to get a relationship back but just to maintain a friendship. This did seem a little stalkerish I admit. I feel so bad, and so guilty now. Why was I so crazy? It has been well over 6 months, and I have a great boyfriend and heard he has a girlfriend, so I sent him an e-mail again apologizing and asking to maintain our friendship, but again I got a response saying please just leave me alone, I have moved on with my life, and would ask that you do the same. I will never contact him again, but was I a stalker, or just a jilted person w/a crush?
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female
reader, nellynelly1305  +, writes (5 September 2008):
 When we fall for some one-we do crazy things that normaly we would never think of doing, we go blind and deaf and the only person we see or hear is the person we have a crush on, especialy if those feelings come just from one person and not from the other.Stalker-nope, big, big crush-yes. Deep inside i think you knew he doesn't feel for you the way you felt for him, nowhere near it, all you were doing is trying to get yourself noticed, for him to see you and to fall for you the way you fell for him. He took advantage of you and used you as he pleased with no minimum respect. You fell for a big selfish bastard.PS:If he had the same feeling for you as you did for him, I think you'd never think about him and forget him within days after your first date with him, but the fact that 6 month after it still bothers you is because those feelings were never answered back. May be next time try not to seem so eger. :-)Forget him, he's not worth you!
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (5 September 2008):
 Hi,
I think more a jilted person with a crush, though why you are obsessing about it now is a little confusing especially if you currently have a boyfriend.
So are you being entirely honest with us here, or was it a case of you think there was no real closure between you two? In any event he has made his intentions clear so there is absolutely no chance of any closure , your actions have ruined any opportunity of that . He sounds like a dickhead anyway if you ask me.
The one thing you don't want to do is contact him again, if you do I'm afraid you are moving into the stalker realm. He has made it clear he wants no contact from you again, so take that advice and build your relationship with your current boyfriend. Forget about this guy and learn your lesson.
Good luck.
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