A
female
age
30-35,
*atmealcookielover
writes:It's been a week now since my boyfriend dumped me out of the blue. Accdg to him it was because of the re-occuring fights and admitted that since then he began to feel cold towards me. After the breakup he immediately proposed to be "friends" with me which of course at first I thought was a silly idea. And I just couldn't absorb the fact that I seemed to be the only one miserable from the breakup, didn't even hear him cry once that night, no hint of a sad tone either. He was even encouraging me to move on whilst telling me that I deserve a better man. He spoke damn confident.Being the brave woman that I am, I let him go and remained quiet the next day. Someone who could leave me just like that after 6 mos of being together isn't worth my tears. He called the next morning, crying and telling me that he was feeling miserable and misses me. Still, I remained quiet the next days and he kept on doing that. He even went to my house all of a sudden and went to the mall where I shopped by the time he knew I was there. Now that creeped me out. He becomes so paranoid and desperate at times that he'd call to check where I am going or if I'm with somebody else. I'm quite sure that I made him clear to him that he no longer has the right to act like that. But he just kept on doing that and since I'm still inlove with him, couldn't help but to listen and sympathize with his misery sometimes (take note of the fact that I was the one who got dumped).It just confuses me though. I noticed that when I'm considering to give him a chance, he would say that he is still confused and would act like he isn't very 'into' getting me back... But when I'm ignoring him, he would come after me, express his regrets and would beg to death for my stay. Apparently he has issues going on with him and it's the first time I encountered something like that. Should I move on and block him completely in my contacts? Or should I cling to that piece of hope that we could still be fixed?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2014): A great big YES, YOU SHOULD BLOCK HIM from all your contacts!
His only concern is whether you might be seeing some other guy; and he's only having second thoughts after the fact.
He may have had a secret romantic-interest going on that might have fallen through. He had a chance to stop and think about the fact you just might not mind breaking-up after all. There's is also the possibility he wants to keep his foot in the door for sex. He'll play on your feelings just to be able to get a booty call now and then.
Stop and think real hard. Why would you take somebody back that dumped you cold? If you guys were having a lot of fights, you weren't happy anyway. What are you going back to, a continuation of the fights you're always having?
Neither of you have changed, and neither of you are making any sense. You like fighting? More of just the same.
If people fight a lot, they are incompatible. You'll just get along for a little while, he'll get sex when he wants it, and the minute a female comes along he likes better?
You're history!!!
He can dump you again, because he had a head-start on thinking about what it would be like without you. You don't dump people for shock-value to make them change. It only makes them less trusting and that's screwing around with their heads. Let him go, move on. Time for a change, don't you think?
A
female
reader, SeaGreen  +, writes (3 October 2014):
 I really think you would be better off if you blocked him and moved on.
If he really wanted to get back together with you then he would have done so already and wouldn't be playing head games with you.
He already proved he is unstable and has "issues". This is a big red flag.
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