A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Im trying to figure out something with this guy I've been sort of on and off with for a while, a good few years to be exact. I dunno if anyone can help me but I'm so confused.See, I've been hanging out with this guy, lets call him Jack, and we're just friends. But a couple weeks ago he told me he cares for me and has feelings for me. I'm going out with someone already, and he told me that he wished he was the one going out with me.Then there was no more said about it for a little while, until i realised I have some feelings for him too. So I let him know and told him that I wasnt gonna do anything about it. We've known each other for a very long time and I'm so confused cos now after I told him that I kinda felt the same, he started avoiding me and telling me I'm being clingy and that and telling me I'm doing things that I'm not doing. Anyways we had a huge fight, and he said some really hurtful things to me. Pretty much telling me he didn't care about me and insisting to me that I loved him and all this when I don't. I never said I did. He's confusing me so much and we're meeting up in a few days to talk but I have no idea what I'm gonna say. He's hurt me a lot in the past and I've become numb to him, I know I can't open up to him again because all he does is tear me up. I need some advice. First of all, why did he tell me how he felt, then freak out when I told him how I felt? Nothing changed! He put me down and now I dunno if I can look him in the face and secondly, what am I gonna say to him when I see him? I get so blocked off and distant when he's around cos he's always digging at me and trying to get things out of me. Please help, I'm so sick of being messed around by this guy :( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2009): A kind of guy like that is a jerk, so just don't care about what he says or does, cause it really ain't your problem, so just feel strong about yourself... after all, you didn't do anything ~THAT~ bad anyway, so why worry about it? and you don't wanna hang out w/ jerks right? (like I said) any kind of guy like that are jerks!!!!So just be strong and feel strong about yourself!
A
female
reader, TornHeart  +, writes (31 January 2009):
 Wow, this guy sounds like he has serious issues. I don't understand why he'd pretend that you said you loved him. Sounds like he's trying to get you to chase him-- don't do it! I think he's angry that you have feelings for him yet you don't want to act on them. Men who put you down aren't worth you're time (I had a similar situation)-- when you see him, be sure to tell him that he hurt you. Try to be upfront with him instead of distant-- tell him that what he said really hurt you, and make it clear that you don't LOVE him (you just like him-- IF you do anymore). Good Luck and God bless.
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