A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am turning 21 and I have never kissed a girl. I think about this all the time, and it makes me really uncomfortable. I am literally the only one among my friends/people my age I've met, and I feel isolated. People tell me I'm a great guy and girls would be lucky to have me, but I don't know what I've been doing wrong. I have asked out 2 girls in the past, both of which were rejections. Love is just something I really want to have, but it seems that it works out for everyone else except me. I work out, I am mostly confident, (although this is the only thing holding it back,) and I talk to all of the girls I can. (I've been told I am cute/funny.) The main thing that people tell me is just wait. You'll find someone, your time will come. But I think I need better advice than that, hearing that for years on end only makes me feel worse. I just feel abnormal, and there's a part of me that thinks it's never going to happen and I should just focus on more important things in my life. My question is: what can I do to overcome both my way of thinking and my current situation? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (18 July 2013):
 If you haven't already done so, try online dating. It works for LOTS of people. It's a very good way of contacting a lot of people you would never otherwise have met.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (18 July 2013):
 No one falls in love by "waiting." It doesn't just fall from the sky! I agree with Chigirl, it's very premature to be worried it will never happen when you've only asked out 2 women. Rejection is just part of the dating process. It happens to everyone, it doesn't mean you're not dating material, it means you took a risk. It's called a risk and not a sure thing for a reason. Being rejected sucks, everyone has been there. Feel sorry for yourself for a day or two, dust yourself off and try again. Just flirt with women you meet, read their reactions, and ask out the ones you feel a spark with. Feel a spark with someone you've just met? Ask for her number. I once went on a date with a guy I had only known for about 10 minutes. I didn't really find him attractive, but really admired his courage to ask out basically a complete stranger.
I also completely agree with Chigirl that you shouldn't wait to essentially be head over heels before asking someone out. That's what dating is for. So put yourself out there more, and it will help you have better luck.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (18 July 2013):
 You need to ask out a lot more girls than just two. And you need to not fear rejection. So what if they say no to a date? There are more women in the world. Next! Ask out another. With experience and failure you will learn the tricks and how to flirt. Do you compliment women for example? There are many flirting tricks, but mainly you need to show an interest and take the first steps. Women still expect the man to do the hunting. So asking out just two girls... Well, do you think a girlfriend will fall out of the sky and drop on your head? You need to ask out way more ghan that. You need to keep at it until someone says yes. But dont fiorget,once you ask someone out is the time to get to know them. You dont have to be in love before you ask them out. Once on a date, get to know her.
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A
male
reader, der_zyniker +, writes (18 July 2013):
To be honest, I think you've let this get too far under your skin. You're trying too hard and focusing on the disappointments, which is making you try harder. As cliche as it sounds, just be yourself. You've been turned down twice. It's not a big deal. That's going to happen. Practically everyone has be shot down as some point. I would stop trying to make things happen and let them happen on their own. I'm not saying don't talk to girls or anything. I'm saying stop trying to talk to every girl you can just so you can get kissed.If you act different around girls you are interested than you do around say your friend, that is a mistake. Just for some background, I am a gay guy. I would say there have been more girls interested in me than most guy for my age and it's because I don't act any different around girls than I do around my friends or family. Just let your personality shine through. Don't try to impress people because that generally just falls flat. Just be genuine.
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