A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidMy office colleague/team member always eyeing for my position. I took vacation for days back with my bf. After i came back from my vacation i feel difference in work environment. He took hold of my position acting as if he is my boss now, withholding information. Even if i ask, not giving me the full picture so i have to always depend on him.I cannot escalate this my boss, as this guy is not doing anything very openly. And i don't have proof, as he gives me few info not the entire picture.What should i do now, how can i tackle him. This is ruining my personal life too. Please help me
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (18 July 2013):
 Hi Anom,
Usually it takes awhile to settle back into work after a long vacation. I was standing in for my manager while he was away for three weeks and when he came back he struggled to get back into his role even though i helped in filling him in, surprisingly he really struggled to get back into things.
First advise is t take it easy with yourself others as it is not easy to settle back in.Not sure if you have a big team but one option could to try to get the information from others in your team instead . You could also organised a meeting with him and other interested parties where he is forced to give out the information to a wider audience.
Attitude is also important to stay in the game. Since he isn't your boss don't give him the opportunity to play you down.Act confidence and trust your own instincts in making work decisions. Try not to act like you totally need or depend on him even if you do. Ask for general suggestions openly and give some useful input yourself.
Goodluck.
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