A
female
age
30-35,
*earaaaXoXo
writes:my boyfriend of 10 months just got back from college orientation, a few weeks ago and he's been texting a girl he met there nonstop. Every day and every night since he's been back. They both have a lot in common, and when I say a lot I mean A LOT in common. Like, everything. I've talked to him about it and I've told him that it's been bothering me that he talks to her more then he talks to me but he doesn't seem to see a problem with it. He's been acting really distant lately and so have I because of him. I've been pretty upset about him leaving for college too and I knew that something was up. The other day we were in his room and he just started crying. He told me that he, "Didn't think it was a good idea for us to stay together while he was at school" because he, "Didn't want to hurt me." He also went on to say that he "Didn't think he was ready" For what? I don't know. I'm his first girlfriend and the first person he's ever really kissed or done anything with really. I can't bare to lose him. I've never experienced a love like this and I know that I've found the truest of true love with him. Someone, anyone, please, help...
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 August 2011):
 I know this hurts but often when high school loves go off to college life changes... he's at least being honest with you now...
YOU will get past this... I promise.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011): "I've talked to him about it and I've told him that it's been bothering me that he talks to her more then he talks to me but he doesn't seem to see a problem with it."
Heartbreaking as it must be, you must realize that he isn't your true love.
Neither is she his.
He is demonstrating his immaturity and un-readiness for true and lasting love.
You need to let him go, but remember as you do so that this is not "you" that is an issue, this is due to his issues. Nothing you can do can change this, nothing you can change about yourself would make any difference, the other woman is not better or sexier or smarter or anything, she is just another woman.
You are not less for any of this. He is simply not ready.
Some of us are ready at 18, some at all other ages and times.
Some of us are never ready.
He's just not ready "yet".
So, sit down with him, and say goodbye, and tell him you are not ready to be treated as a burden, or obligation, and let him go.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (8 August 2011):
 Hi,
I am sorry that you feel this way.. I know how you feel, and the thought of loosing him must be unberable, and painful...
Honestly, no matter what you do, if he wants to move on, he will... Sorry if this hurts, but its true.. I just want you to be prepare in any case...
He's going to college, already made a new friend that you're aware of, knows how much they communicate and how much they have in commom... He already cried to you, and told you he was not ready...
Hopefully nothing will change, but knows that you are lucky, because he's a nice guy. Why? Because, he's honest with you. He didn't have to tell you about this new friend. He could have lied, hide, cheat on you, without you even knowing, but he's honest, respect you, and care for you.
You'll never forget your 1st love, but knows that he's going to college, will meet many people, from all over the country, will have so many experiences, and anything is possible.
I don't want to make you worry, or scare you. I don't want to be mean to you, but this is only my opinion.
Hope this helps
Good luck!
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