If he has feelings for me, why is he with her?

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Ok this will be long so please bare with me, I need insight fron strangers. Well anyway I have strong feelings for a guy friend. He is a co-worker of mine. He started at my work six months ago. Right away we hit it off and had everything in common. Within weeks we became close friends. We would have private conversations at work about our dreams and we told each other our deepest secrets we never told anyone else. We were not friends outside of work however, because we were both in relationhsips at that time. Well I soon started to realize I had feelings for him. Not long after that I broke up with my boyfriend. It had nothing to do with my friend,our relationship had been going downhill. To my happiness, he ended up breaking up with his girlfriend just a few days later, which also had nothing to do with us. Just coincedence. After that we grew closer. He looked me up on facebook and we started talking on there a lot untill he gave me his number and we started texting. We always said were gonna hang outside of work or go out and have drinks. It never did happen though. Our relationship at work was growing WAY fliratious. Our co-workers began to talk. They sat me down and told me it was obvious that I have feelings for him and him for me. I admitted I liked him. Even all the new people that would start working there would pull either one of us aside and ask if we had something going on with each other. Even our managers told him we would make a cute couple, which he told me. Everyone was sure we were gonna date. Untill one day his girlfriend came to pick him up from work. Thats when I found out he was dating someone. He did not tell me he was seeing someone or even talking to someone. We told each other EVERYTHING. Including the details of our romantic relationships. Everyone at work was shocked because they had not known. They all yelled at him for not introducing her to me. He said he didnt have to cause we were not friends outside of work. That hurt and our relationship was strained for a while. We did not really talk for a few weeks. However working together all the time, we eventually made up and regained closeness. We began to confide in each other about everything again. However he would not tell me anything about his girlfriend, even though I overheard him telling other co-workers about her. I confronted him about keeping things from me and he said he would confide in another co-worker about things that he just couldnt tell me. That hurt cause we told each other secrets we never told anyone. I also confronted him about why we never spent time together outside of work. He was just like its complicated. He did eventually tell me about his girlfriend. He admitted she makes him miserable. We have a close relationship right now and we are back to being how we were except he has a girlfriend. A new co-worker recently confronted me about having feelings for him, I admitted I did.She said it was obvious he has feelings for me to. I denied that he did. She said I cant be that naieve. She said she thought we were together untill she found out he was with someone. I know he is obviously miserable with his girlfriend. She takes off to other states to visit ex-boyfriends. If he has feelings for me, why is he with her? Is it because we work together? Does it sound like there is more there than just friendship? I never told him I like him, but I made it obvious other ways. Anybody tell me what they think is going on? Thanks.

View related questions: at work, broke up, co-worker, facebook, has a girlfriend, text

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A female reader, LLindy87  +, writes (9 October 2010):

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