A
male
age
30-35,
*obro
writes:I have posted questions previously about how I worry about how my appearance will affect my relationships in the future.Quick reminder - I am nineteen years old, six foot dark hair blue eyes. My close female friends say I'm sweet and kind and lovely. I'm also considerate, compassionate and intelligent. Also, I am a passionate musician and the dedication and passion I put into music is something that I would be willing to put into a relationship with the right young lady.Again, I remind you of the problem. I am (very) overweight. I'm good at hiding how overweight I actually am and being quite tall helps somewhat as well. I am far from bad looking (facial features) for my size. But none of this disguises the fact I am overweight. I have been trying to lose weight quite successfully recently, but the rate has slowed a little lately with poor weather and not being able to go out walking.Sometimes I do feel that at 19 never having had a relationship is a bit unfortunate. I also have trouble understanding my feelings as on ocassion I have come to believe I am attracted to a close female friend. Also, I have trouble with communicating - I either wait too long and make an effort to give no indication and by the time I do it is too late for various reasons, or I inadvertantly give my intentions away too early.I AM feeling more confident in myself lately. But what more can I do? Also, I am worried that the desire for a relationship is starting to make me start becoming attracted to nearly any girl my age. Any advice on how to help that?I know I can love someone and I would be able to have a great relationship - sex isn't a motivating factor for me I should mention.I just wish I could do more to increase my chances.My need for companionship and love is strong. I wish everyone could be as understanding as you people.I am starting to become convinced though that I no one could ever like me in that way.Since posting before I have started university - been here nearly a month now. I know it is still very early but I really want to find someone while I am here. It gets me down at times seeing young couples together.I need to know how to find someone.
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female
reader, shiraz  +, writes (14 October 2008):
hiyah i know you say your a lot more confident but im not seeing that! you constantly put yourself down literally telling woman how they feel about you before they even know, although you hide this wel dont hide from who you are- or you will never find someone who loves you for you. You dont need to go out and stare at any girl thinking who ever she is she looks my way ill have her! it doesnt work like that i cant say when but eveentually you will find somebody but until then dont just put up with anything this makes you selfish and the girl worthless.
you just need to feel loved and have that security of a relationship but before this i really do think you should start thinking more about yourself and your life, not just on the outside but the inside youve lost something that needs to be there and only you in your own way can get it back.
Im not a believer in soul mates but i do think that there is someone out there for everyone its just finding them.
19 is still young! sort yourself and your head out before you focus on other things and by the time your confident and sorted in yourself you will be prepard to go and find what you are craving right now.
love isnt all it seems though so dont just fall for the first one, she might seem interested but she needs to be right for you. your a person with feelings but right now your really down so getting a girl might not be the best time for you yet- have your fun - live your life dont spend it worrying and mopping about what cant be the more you come out of your shell and into yourself the more the girls we see who you really are.your at the perfect time now to enjoy yourself and build up a carrer and future
i dont know as this has helpped but i wish you all the best and let me know how you get on x :)
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