A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:(Title chosen by poster was taken)hiIve been with my bofriend for 3 years now. Althought i love him very much i cheated on him a week ago. me and my boyfriend have a love hate relationship we can argue all the time but always end up laughing at eachother and it just blows over! but sometimes he can be selfish.. he has never met my friends and he says he doesnt feel welcome in my house! my friends are a big part of my life an always will be.. but ive put up with this for 3 years now. he never wanted to go out and has promised me we would go away on hoilday but we never have! he says he is self conscience because he is a big man but it doesnt bother him goin out with his mates.. we broke up about about 5 weeks ago n didnt speak for 2 weeks and now we have just go back together it doesnt feel the same! i know i shouldnt of cheated on him but i cant live with the guilt!i havint told him i kissed another man an i never will but i feel like he deserves better! i dont know what to do.. we have become differnt people now, he says all i do is moan and i say he is selfish because he never wants to meet my friends or do anything with me..i what to have a life before i settle down! at times i feel like i want to be single yet i cant bare the thought of leaving him! what if hes the one for me? im so confused please help?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): i understand what you are all saying and thank you for your answers.. he tells me he loves me and wants to make it work when ever i bring things up. he says i make him feel worthless because i pick on things but im a girl and we moan and want to talk about things, i dnt want to make his feel worthless because hes not... i really do love him but the guilt is killing me! is love enough to stay in a realtionship? i know he loves me because he does get upset if i bring things up.. oh im so confused i never thought ild be like this im usally the strong one :(
A
female
reader, VikkiDec1 +, writes (23 August 2010):
 It seems like if your with this guy, your full of disappoints and fighting. You want to find the guy that won't disappoint you or be selfish at all. I know it will hurt so much to be single, but it will be better in the long run. And who knows, maybe when your least expecting it, the right guy will come along. It just takes alot of patience and always trust your gut.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 August 2010):
Cheating is wrong. And the fact you cheated says a lot about this relationship. I'm sure you feel bad enough. But you need to stop sitting there in self pity for a moment and look at this guy for what he is. This is a guy who shows you no love, no real affection, shows no interest in knowing you or your friends, is selfish, promised a holiday and failed to deliver in three years. The list is pretty endless. Stop feeling crap about yourself so much, and wake up. This guy is no good for you. He treats you as if you're not even there. It's not a surprise you cheated. That was wrong, and you shouldn't have done it. But I understand why. The problem is that you will do it again, and again and again because you're so unsatisfied with your boyfriend. What is the point of having a boyfriend who doesn't care about you? The answer is that there is NO point. You need to take your own life in your hands here and get rid of him. Get back out there and meet someone better. But don't stay with this guy. He's no good. But by cheating on him, you're the one who gets to look back. Dump him and move on.
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