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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm 18 and love my boyfriend of over a year but I'm not sure I fancy him anymore. I do love him to pieces but the physical attraction just isn't the same for me. I don't really want to split with him because I don't want to lose the closeness we do have. He means so much to me and he's still nuts about me which makes me feel so guilty. If I stay with him, I won't lose anything but it's not fair on him but if I split with him, theres a chance I'll lose him.I don't know what to do, the last thing I want to do is hurt him because he is so important to me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, jabey  +, writes (20 February 2008):
I think as has been said, all relationships loose that immense attraction. Even if you still fancy someone it is never as intense as in the beggining.
I think a strong relationship is one that you get on well, laugh together, trust each other. If you feel happy in each others company, friendship is massive.
If you reach the point where kissing repulses you, then you have problems, but maybe your attraction now is safer and secure.
At 18, you will probably be curious to as what else is out there, which in all fairness, is a reasonable desire, for life experience and relationship experience, often helps us know what we really want.
Sometimes by ending a relationship, we meet others, and then look back and realise that is the one we really wanted, and the attraction returns.
At 18, perhaps you need to explore more, so dont be afraid, time alone can often be healthy and help you realise who you are and what you really want .
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): I just want to say im kind of in the same position however i have a child, i loved my boyfriend had a baby as soon as i got pregnant i fell out of love with him i thought it was because of my hormones but my daughter is nearly 2 now and he loves me so much but i cant even have sex with him me personaly am going to try relate and if that dont work im out, but at least ive tried for my babys sake. I know Its really hard to decide incase your making the biggest mistake of your life but like the saying goes 'you have to follow your heart' as corny as it sounds..
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): There is no straight answer to your problem... I'm in the same position as you with my girl-friend... love her to bits but don't want sex with her anymore!! she is upset and I'm running out of excuses... I think if it's gone,you can't get it back no matter waht the experts say... I think you have to be honest and not waste his time... I feel I have to do the same... It's one of life's cruel games... but we must in the end all move on.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): Hi i am sorry to hear of your problem, my advice is get out now it will only get harder if you leave it longer trust me. I live with my partner and love him a lot but i dont fancy him, i have been with him for four years. I was like you three years ago and was about to leave when i fell pregnant, i now have a 2 and a alf year old who i love loads but not her father, please please dont get stuck like me, enjoy your life and make the most of your teenage years before big strings get attached x x hope that helps
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007): Well, I personally would say it IS possible not to be attracted to someone anymore but still love them. The chemistry in all relationships starts to fizzle out after a while - but sometimes it goes too far, and then maybe you get to the old cliche where you love him but you're not IN love with him. I should know, because yay, I'm in a similar relationship of over 18 months now. But I don't have many close friends to keep me company if I break up with him, so I will be really lonely - and we live together, that will be a nightmare to sort. So it's very easy to SAY things like "stay because you WANT to, not to make him happy" (and it's the right thing to say) - but it's very hard to follow through. I am staying with him for now - I'm taking time to get used to the idea of being alone again. It's not ideal, I know but maybe just letting ourselves grow apart gradually is less painful than suddenly ending it.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (22 July 2007):
 You are very fond of your boyfriend as you have a history together however you DON'T love him, if you did you would never "not fancy" him. You need to decide whether you want to stay in this relationship or not and if you stay, you stay because you WANT to, not to make him happy.
Eve
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