A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My parents are very strict when it comes to relationships. They have a set list requirements a boyfriend/girlfriend must have have in order for me or my brother to date them. Then they try to control how we interact. It is a nightmare.Because of this, my brother and I have continuously kept our relationships a secret. Everytime my parents find out about one, there is a massive fight. However, I feel the last fight went too far.My brother is sixteen, and my parents found out about his most recent girlfriend. Like the first girlfriend, they were furious. They threatened him , took away his phone and computer, and grounded him. They claim he is too young for a relationship, and that its only infatuation. They refuse to even meet the girl, because they say he broke their trust by lying about it to them and not saying he was with her. My brother was absolutely crushed and I am furious. I too have a secret boyfriend, but my mother has already made clear that if I date anyone who does not share our religious values, I can pretty much pack my bags and leave their house.Can anyone give me advice on this? I feel like I literally have to choose between my boyfriend and my parents even though I'm an adult. Do I move out just for the freedom to pursue a non-secretive relationship? It seems almost ridiculous, since aside from that one aspect, living at home is perfectly fine. Yet even if I do move out, if they uncover my relationship, they may still turn a cold shoulder to me and heap on the guilt...its like me and my brother cant escape...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2012): You are willing to sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of becoming a slave to your parents' every whim and desire?You are an adult. They no longer control or have a single say in who you date. All they can do is deny him/her entry into their home... they have the right to do that to anyone.Outside that brick and mortar building, their opinions are utterly irrelevant.And as for their religious beliefs... if they are willing to throw away a decent relationship with their children for such arcane and intolerant opinions, is that really the type of family you wish to involve yourself with for the rest of your life?Flynn 24
A
male
reader, Cole Turner +, writes (25 April 2012):
 What are your parents religious views? if I may ask? It seems to me like that this is a little unfair particularly as you are over 18. If you can support yourself now is the time to ... but do you have a job, money etc.
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