A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I met this guy online ("roy")and he seemed cool but didn't want a relationship. Neither did I, was still so in love with my ex. Chemistry was good but I was a virgin and told him so. We played around, nothing serious. But then I met "jody" and everything changed. I stopped seeing roy and spent all my time with jody who is kind, smart and wonderful :) But I didnt know how to tell roy, i gave him lies but never, ever agreed to even see him. A yr passes (little contact with roy and only via txt) But then, he texts me that hes in love with me. My 1st thought: yuck. He also asks me (a wk later) if I want to see his junk: double yuck. I feel bad for him, hes going through stuff but still, I think I love Jody and I want to tell Roy that. I don't think I even want to stay friends, we have next to nothing in common and though he is older than me, I feel he is immature and though again, hes a decent guy I don't see him in my life. I fear karma and dont want to hurt the guy but what do I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Doctor Dave +, writes (12 June 2011):
You have to be strong, and tell him that you want other things with your life.
Bad Karma only comes from not dealing with truth and reality.
A
female
reader, MissTellAll +, writes (12 June 2011):
You've let it go on far too long. For that you are wrong. All you can really do now is tell Roy that you aren't interested, apologize profusely and hope with all of your might that he doesn't take it too hard. If he rebels and won't stop contacting you (which may happen is he is so 'immature') then tell him some of the things you've said here. Say how you have nothing in common, say how you are interested in seeing other people, say that you think he's a good guy but not the one for you. You're going to hurt him. You've already hurt him and he doesn't even know it, but you can't change what you've already done. All you can do is try to reconcile your mistakes.
P.S. no matter what he says breaking his heart doesn't mean in any way that you HAVE to be friends with him still. Some people try and use this guilt trip to keep contact and try to win the person who hurt them back over. Don't let that happen.
Best of luck to you in this sticky situation.
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