A
female
age
26-29,
*Tzimisce.
writes:About 2 years ago I fell in love with a guy I hae met on an online gaming site and we use to talk literally everyday for hours about a year and a half. I really wanted to keep in touch but I was at a really bad stage in my life. I dealt with severe depression, anxiety, poor self-esteem and bullied at school quite alot. Eventually my low mood and little emotional connection towards everything got into our relationship as well ... I got super insecure and was playing games to see if he cared about me at all (because he was known to talk to alot of girls and didnt bother me because I seen him as a friend at that time). Eventually he stopped messaging me and disappeared for good without him telling me anything. After 2 years of healing Ive realised he liked me alot, we hit it off well and we knew eachother so well. He told me alot of secrets and told me about his whole life, right now I regret even throwing away our relationship. And Ive realised now I loved him.Recently I might of found him on facebook and able to message him on there, however since we left on bad and confusing terms Im wondering if its worth to reach out to him again. I often wonder if he really cared about me because he never kept in contact (however one time he did ask whether I had a social media platform but at the time I was forbidden).Im so confused .. and scared to get hurt again by him. But i dont want to regret the chance to reconnect with him again.. what do I do?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 January 2018):
 I think the best thing you can do is leave him be. You have both grown (hopefully in those two years).
He cut you off because you were playing games and he didn't like it. Nothing wrong in that. He didn't cut you off to hurt you but to keep himself from getting hurt.
I don't think going back to something that essentially didn't work, that was only online is a good idea.
And no, it wasn't love. It was infatuation, fantasy and fun through gaming. Now he might have been a really nice guy to talk to, doesn't mean you two would actually work out in reality and OFF the internet.
Instead? Learn from this.
I think, if you are looking for a relationship that you should stick to dating guy who live close by, so you can get to know them in PERSON. We all have a bit of an online personality that differs from our real personality. The "love" you feel is for HIS online personality. It CAN be quite easy to feel a bond with someone through words. Whether you use Mumble/or text/typing.
The reason I say don't go there is because your motive is to try and get that feeling of being "loved" back. It's been 2 years so he probably have moved on. He was after all talking to MANY girls at the same time. Which means you have no idea how many of them he "shared" all his stories with to make THEM feel good too.
Work on having a social life, on that is not just ONLINE.
A
male
reader, Allumeuse  +, writes (5 January 2018):
He didn't hurt you by the sound of it. He tried to connect but you could as it was forbidden. He has the potential to hurt you, but so does anyone you trust with your feelings. He didn't ask you not to contact him so give it a try. You might be rejected for any number of reasons, and that's a risk throughout life. But he might be thrilled to hear from you. Now that you're in a better place you should take the risk. It doesn't always pay off, but if you don't you may forever wonder 'what if?'.
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