A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has forgotton my birthday twice. Which is every time, since we've only been together for two years. My bday is right in between Christmas and New Year. We always spend a wonderful Christmas together and a few days later, he gets the silent treatment and realizes it's because he forgot my bday. He always feels horrible about it and makes it up with an (I admit) amazing day-to-night date. But it would be nice if he remembered the date of my birthday! This topic is the ONLY major argument we've ever had. He is a wonderful man, very considerate, and absolutely romantic... Except when it comes to my birthday. Should I drop hints before my bday? Or do I need to consider something else? I can't imagine something as simple as remembering my bday to be so difficult for him!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2012): I'm the one who never remembers my husband's birthday, because it's very close to Christmas so it's total chaos and stress, and we have a ton of family members with birthdays right in that range too. It's not that I completely forget his birthday just that I keep mixing it up with other people's. He's the one who remembers everyone's birthday and reminds me, even on my side of the family.I think it's silly to give your bf the silent treatment just because he forgot your birthday. And then he has to make up for it. That's not how it should be. I would think that a date afterward no matter how amazing would have lost its point if he's only doing it to get out of the dog house.If he forgets again, just remind him but don't get mad at him for it. It's just another day.If you don't want him to forget, then YOU take the initiative and make plans with him ahead of time for your birthday and tell him. Like, make plans for a birthday dinner and tell him so he can put it on his calendar. Dropping hints is all well and good but how do you know he will get the hint? if he doesn't, you'll be even more upset.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2012): "Should I drop hints before my bday?"
Yes! Look my girlfriend actually just grabs my credit card and buys her own present and organizes what we're going to do too. I never forget when it is but I'm so awful at presents and arranging parties that she prefers to do it. I don't do birthdays anyway, they mean nothing to me. The first few years she hated the gifts, then she'd hint what she wanted and I'd get the wrong thing and/or size. She care about being surprized as she other who do that better than me all she cares about is that I'm there to celebrate it with her and treat her like a queen for the day which I do.
You don't need surprize to be romantic and you don't need him to remember it as proof of how much you mean to him.
Make sure the hints are blatant though OP. "I just got off the phone with Tamika she said she'll be around for my birthday next wednesday.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (3 May 2012):
 I have the same problem. I wonder if having your birthday so close to the holidays makes it harder. My wifes birthday is close to Independence day. I forgot the first few years. My advice to him is to shop early and put reminders in his phone. If he has to make reservations or buy tickets for the super date that would help.
Yes drop hints. I know it spoils the surprise and romance but he needs the help.
FA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2012): My bf and i have been dating three years and he never remembers mine either. He thinks my birthday is his exs. We have two children and he cannot remember our first childs birthday at all. However our he can remember our second childs birthday which is 5-7-11 because he says he can remember 7-11 like the convienient store except with a five in front. I would write it down on a calender or see if he can associate the date with a jingle or anything to help. And maybe bring up your bday two weeks or so before. My boyfriend just read what im posting laughed and attempted to tell me what year i was born. He guessed 1984; 1988. I corrected him and told him 1989 and when i asked him how old i was he counted the years! If your bf at least knows how old u are there is still hope! Lol. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Read-the-signs  +, writes (3 May 2012):
He should have learnt after the first time. Only one year the mistake repeated itself, which is not on.
Does he maybe not have a head for dates etc, perhaps he is in the habit of forgetting important occasions? That could explain but he should be making an effort to remember the birthday of his partner.
If this is the ONLY issue then it can be resolved by you telling him upfront how hurt you have been and asking if he can please be more considerate. If there are other issues connected to him showing lack of attention to you, then that is a more serious matter.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2012): Drop hints, or just remind him. My boyfriend forgets my birthday all the time, and mine is the day before his. I have 4 older brothers and none of them remember either, it's a guy thing, don't take it personally.
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