A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this guy for over a year and a half.. everything was going fine and he asked me to move in with him because he was going to law school and I was going to college. We have been living together for about 6 months now and he is becoming more and more distant. I think that there might be another woman, he never wants to go home and he made a whole instant messenger account just to talk to her. He says that it is nothing, but that he isn't sure what he wants anymore. I am stuck here in our apartment with someone who I don't think wants to be with me. I am not sure what to do because it is not a simple leave or stay, I also have school to worry about.. my next semester starts in a week so it is too late to transfer. Please help me! What would you do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (17 January 2007):
 Getting a job and save some money is going to give you a way out.
Whilst you are stuck there, you might as well be housemates but the sooner you are out the best.
Your course is stressful enough, do not need to feel trapped because of money on top of it.
Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe only thing with finding a new place to live is that I have hardly any money left.. I definitely do not have enough to get a new place and last the semester. I had to pay for most of the stuff last semester and he is doing so this semester one he gets his refund check. I am feeling like it is completely impossible for me to leave without also leaving school and I wont let him do that to me, I have worked to hard and given up way too much. At the same time he is telling me he wants me to stay and that he likes having me here.. I feel like he is only doing it so I dont leave school. He gives me such mixed signals, one minute he will tell me he loves me and wants to make it work, then the next he says he doesnt know what he wants or if he is in love with me anymore. I dont know if I should just think its the stresses of law school that are getting to him and making him confused or if he really wants me to leave. I have decided I am just going to go out and do stuff for myself and stop thinking about him. I am going to find a job and just enjoy school and being in college as much as possible. Thanks for the help, any more pointers would be greatly appreciated! Sorry its soo long!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): Hi There,
I feel so sorry for you, there's nothing worse than being in a relationship and feeling that your partner is growing distant. As a former student I would advise that you really make an effort to find a new room to rent, you will find one, I guarantee it, and there's nothing to say you can't still date your boyfriend once you've moved out. You will feel more confident when you have your own place, and it will probably surprise him and make him stop taking you for granted and start treating you with the respect that you deserve!
Ask in coffee houses, look around the noticeboards, ask around, you WILL find a room, Im telling you!
Lots and lots of luck and stay positve, you don't deserve to be treated this way, your college years should be fun as well, don't let this guy drag you down!
Love Pixie, UK x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your advice.. I know I need to get out somehow, but I dont know where to go.. I tried to transfer into another school, but it was too late. I have also tried to move on campus, but it is too late for that too. My boyfriend says that he is happy with me here, but I feel like he just wants to go out and do whatever and then come home sometimes when he feels lonely. He told me if I couldn't get into another school that he wanted me to stay here because I thought about going home and just taking a semester off. I am just so lost.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): Try all ways to get somewhere else to stay. He obviously has gone off the boil, and you need to get away. Don't be in a hurry to share with someone in the future until you are certain. I know things can change overnight but be more careful in the future.
Take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): Try all ways to get somewhere else to stay. He obviously has gone off the boil, and you need to get away. Don't be in a hurry to share with someone in the future until you are certain. I know things can change overnight but be more careful in the future.
Take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): Oh man... not a good situation. Maybe you should ask him if both of you should see other people. Make him see how it feels to be YOU. Ok, but seriously try to find another roommate. Are there dorms on campus? I know it's expensive, but being uncomfortable in your own home isn't right. Let me know what you end up doing.
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A
male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (15 January 2007):
 Wow that sucks! I guess you want to get off the planet! Anyway thats not possible but moving out is an option. Tell him how you feel and that you are going to make plans to move out as you sense that he no longer loves you. It's probably better to move out now than in a month or 2 when you get deeper into your studies. The financial problems will be resolved quickly but hanging around in hope will hurt much more. BUT make sure you both know what you want and have discussed where the relationship is going, you might be over reacting but only you guys can figure out exactly what's going on...Hanging around for financial reasons, and in hope that things will sort themselves out is not a good option. Take care.
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (15 January 2007):
 Is there a message board at school where you can see if someone is looking for a nice person to share an apartment with? Maybe if you're a few people sharing one apartment it won't be so heavy on your economy, and you can get out of the place you're currently sharing with your boyfriend.
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