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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am so confused... I was text messaging a guy for six months then we met. We hung out on and off but he would disappear for weeks on end with barely a text, then say he had been busy or asked ME why I hadn't been in touch. He mentioned not being ready for a relationship although he found me attractive. I felt taken advantage of because I was a gracious host, cooking him dinner etc, so stopped texting him. Recently he contacted me and apologised for his behaviour. He came on to me, we fooled around then he refused to have sex with me, saying that sleeping with a woman without a challenge makes it less enjoyable. Now I don't know whether to stop contact with him to avoid this hot and cold drama. I'm wondering whether all of his excuses are due to him being independent and self-centred, or whether he just doesn't like me enough to be in a relationship with me, but likes the chase, the excitement of playing games, or the attention. I have also slept with one of his friends previously, which may be a factor. He also admitted to sleeping with a much younger woman during the period we stopped talking and seemed proud of the fact. Am I wasting my time?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): I feel for you honey, I am in a similar situation. But I have recently come to realise that advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer. Ditch him. You deserve betterxox
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): Lose him. Don't waste your time. What makes him special? He sounds like an ass. There are a lot of more mature, great guys out here.
You deserve more.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (17 January 2007):
 He does not want a relationship? What does he want? Games
He did not sleep with you because he wants a challenge? Insulting is an under statement.
Are you wasting your time? Yes, Yes, Yes!!!
Tell him to get lost!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): Get rid he sounds odd!!He will do your head in over a period of time. Do you really want that? He tells you he has slept with someone younger - well tell him to run off with them. You deserve better.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): Yes, I too think you are wasting your time. This man sounds very peculiar, to put it mildly.
He did tell you he's not ready for a relationship, so that says it right there. If he hadn't previously been ready for one, but then met you and were really bowled over by you, I think he would quickly change his tune and be pursuing you.
Unfortunately, as things stand, it just doesn't seem worth all the drama, and games he is playing........I hope you meet someone nice in due time who WILL want to hang out with you, enjoy your company and want to get to know better. You deserve that.
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A
female
reader, Lilly223  +, writes (16 January 2007):
 yeah, your wasting your time. This guy sounds like an airhead, and I am not sure what the attraction is. It sounds like if you get involved with him (if he will even allow it) that you will simply get jerked around even more. Sorry to be so brutal, but I'm having a hard time figuring out what you are really asking. Your question states nothing positive about him at all. If you are asking why he is doing what he is doing, I cannot answer that, other than to say... he must be a jerk because he sure sounds like one.
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