A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am simultaneously unsatisfied/satisfied with my life. I have a bf whom I love, who does a lot for me and our 3 kids. But, sometimes he has a temper. He gets verbally abusive, not in a nasty way, but in a snippy sort of critiquing way. I've taken to ignoring him but find my frustrations coming out later. I'm actually getting really annoyed with him which leads to me being nasty back. I'm very reciprocating, so we have tension between us. Then he goes back to being nice. His father is the same way to his mom. To everyone actually. But he takes it way further as he's a very conniving, narcissistic, borderline sociopathic man. He's actually a huge contributor to my dissatisfaction with the way my life is going these days. My bf lived his life this way and he sees no problem with it. I have grown up completely different and am actually miserable living with his family. I don't want my kids to grow up like this. I don't want to leave our "family." He doesn't want to leave his. We found one place we both like, but I dislike one woman living here because he has such high regard for her,almost doting, whereas I get the short end of the stick. Perhaps I'm jealous, but maybe I feel unappreciated as well? I need some sort of direction. I honestly don't know what to do right now. I'm just living day to day here
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2018): I agree with Code Warrior, I can't quite see much of a point to the questions.
If your boyfriend's father contributes to your anxiety and discomfort; and you have concerns about the environment you're raising your children in, then move. You aren't married; but living with a man you describe as "conniving, narcissistic, and a borderline sociopath. How can you stay and keep your kids around someone like that?
You'd rather stay with a guy like that; than take a nice place you like; because you're afraid your boyfriend is attracted to a woman there. Read that and tell me how totally illogical and immature that is!
My dear, the way I see it. You can do bad all by yourself. You need to setup arrangements for child-support, get a job, and apply for whatever social services you need for the health and well-being of your children. You see your boyfriend becoming his father? Then take heed to the forewarning of worse things to come! That's your future. You will become like his mother, a victim of a mean man. As your kids grow-up thinking total dysfunction is normal; while it has adverse-affects on their childhood development.
Your jealousy is foolishness. Your kids need a safe and stable home-environment. You see bad traits in your boyfriend; but you'd put your kids through hell rather than let him go. Dissatisfaction isn't the problem. It's your bad choice in a man! Too broke to even provide for a family. You're both quite young for such a large family!
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