A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:ok so here is my story. I have known my boyfriend (SK) since 1993. I met him when my son was a few months old. The first time I met him I knew he was the one for me, however I thought i was doing the right thing marrying my baby's daddy. we all became very good friends and soon he and his girlfriend married. In 1998 my first ex and I split up. SK was my best friend through the whole thing. We came very close to having an affair again and instead i told him it was too bad he was married because i knew i could make him happy for the rest of his life. soon after that his wife would not allow him to come hang out with my two kids (i do not blame her i would have too). I didnt see him again until about 2003. By now I was married again and had a third child. this marriage was a very unhappy one but nevertheless i was married and told him we couldnt see each other. The problem was though something in my heart was telling me I could never be happy with anyone else but him. My second husband and I split up in jan 2007. I finally caught up with SK again in march of 2008. He was in a relationship that he was unhappy in too. We ended up spending the night together before he left her. I told him I could not be the other woman. He left her and moved right in with me (i know what you are thinking). Spending so long wanting him I could not pass him up again. SO needless to say he left after a month and half to go back to her. He was gone a week and came back to me again. he moved in with an old friend of ours who was like a mom to him. We soon found out she had pancreatic cancer and spent the whole summer providing home care for her. She passed away in september and he moved back in with me. However there have been a few circumstances where he refers to her town instead of ours and calls me by her name. I found out he was having middle of the night conversations with her for hours. He claims it was to finalize the end of their relationship so he could give me himself completely. I am having terrible trust issues in my head, I know he is the one in my heart but my head and heart can't seem to agree. The worst part of it is they work together. I need to learn how to trust him before I destroy all that i have waited so long to have. Everything else in the relationship is great. Together we have five children and we make a great team caring for them and our house. And to top it all off our sex life is out of this world. Any suggestions on how to get past this are greatly appreciated.
View related questions:
affair, best friend, moved in, sex life, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, I am really trying to give him a chance. I just hope that I have not ruined a good thing already. I am a full time student at a local college and I am considering some counseling to try to help me deal with the issues that are not allowing me to trust him.
A
female
reader, Jenni2878 +, writes (13 January 2009):
 give him a break.. trust him and let him finish off whathe needs to finsh off. dont let it consumeu honey sounds like you guys have a great life. just be happy with it
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have told him many times how i feel and he continually says "I am sorry that I did that to you, I came back to you because you are the one I want, I have no feelings for her. I promise you that I am here to stay. The only way I am leaving is if you tell me to get out." I see in his eyes something that wont let me go, even now his touch sends shock down to my toes. Even when i am really ticked I can not imagine my life without him. I really think my own failed relationships and the rough start we got this one off to are the reasons for my trust issues. My heart is saying he is being honest but my head keeps arguing.
...............................
A
female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (13 January 2009):
 Im sorry you are having trouble and its hard to try and figure it out but the chances are he still has feelings for this person and wont end it completely with her so there for you are going to be the third wheel or she is one I would let him know that you kinda suspect they are having a relationship and ask him right out there is no need in you suffering mentally wondering what he is up to and if he has a thing for her still let him go dont keep putting yourself through mental torment The right one is out there and will come when it is time ........
...............................
|
