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I always get anxious when talking to people, as I believe everyone is judging me by my hair color.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 January 2013) 7 Answers - (Newest, 9 January 2013)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Would be really grateful for help.

Im a 21 year old bisexual guy, who unfortunately has ginger hair. This seems to be my main issue in life as I see it as the reason for having no confidence or self esteem. Iv never been in a relationship or had sex, but really want to. I always get anxious when talking to people, as I believe everyone is judging me by my hair colour. I don't mind the odd joke by friends but hate it when people make the nasty comments about it. I would never dye it as that would be lying to myself.

Im almost 22 and getting down about my loneliness and anxiety of people judging me by my hair. When girls seem interested in clubs, I think that they cant see my hair colour because the rooms dark, but when they do they will get disgusted and forget me. Can anyone help me change this way of thinking or is this colour that bad? Am i destined for a life of loneliness?

View related questions: confidence, ginger, self esteem

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2013):

A good idea to increase your confidence is change what you can, for example get down to the gym and be as comfortable with your body as you can be without getting carried away. Wear nice clothes, keep your posture good. Buy some nice aftershave. Pretend to be confident even when you don't feel it!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2013):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks everyone for your help. I guess im just an anxious person in general and yes a bit shy. Like some of you said confidence is the issue so I will try to improve on that.

Thanks again

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2013):

First of all gingers are beautiful! I don't know why people would call you names, I dye my hair red, orange, copper you name it, to try to achieve that natural reddish-orange look, if you don't like your hair color DYE it! dye it, or shave it because such small thing should not be ruining your confidence, CMMP is right!

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (7 January 2013):

oldbag agony auntHi

You just sound confused to me, your bisexual, anxious, no confidence or self esteem and consider your hair colour to blame.

Nobody really cares about the colour, so many dye their hair nowadays its hard to remember what their original colour was or even what is was last month.

If it bothers you,wear a hat or dye it.

What you need is to work on your confidence and to worry a whole lot less about your hair.

If you should get a comment about your it make a joke of it, and also spare a thought for 'blondes'.......

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2013):

Nothing wrong with red hair. My two red headed (and now balding) brothers never had problems getting girlfriends since their teenage years. They're not especially handsome, but they're tall and confident. They are both married now, with 5 beautiful children between them who have gorgeous red or strawberry blonde hair.

Stop letting it be such an issue. Get your hair cut into a short but funky style. You're a bit different - look at it as a good thing!

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (7 January 2013):

CindyCares agony aunt Lying to yourself ? Oh what big words for such a small issue. You would be simply making improvement on a physical detail that you don't like. Do you really think that all people who ,say, ditch eyeglasses for contacts, have their crooked teeth fixed, or go to the gym to tune up and grow some muscle, are liars ? ...

Anyway, personally I think that red hair rock. It's sexy,fun, unique and distinctive.

Sure, you may meet women who don't like redheads, same as other women don't like blue eyes , or bearded men, or curly hair or tattoos or....anything . It's just personal preferences, not a general law of the universe.

I think you are a shy , and a bit lazy guy who does not want to go out of his comfort zone and has found in his red hair ( which I am sure is lovely ) a convenient excuse to not put himself out there :)

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (7 January 2013):

You know, this whole red headed step child gingers have souls thing is bullshit. The majority of people could care less about someones hair color. But, some do, just like some guys prefer blondes, others prefer dark hair. If a girl sees you and begins talking to you but backs off when she sees your hair color then go find yourself another one and don't take it personal.

What's really ruining it for you is that you have no confidence. THAT is a turn off. If you ever want to meet a girl the easiest way to screw it up would be to worried she's laughing at you on the inside.

If you think you look good that makes you look good to a lot of people.

Even if you were tall dark and handsome if you are trembling at the thought of talking to a girl because of some perceived imperfection you'll never attract anyone.

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