A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I seriously feel stuck in a rut right now. My ex and I broke up a month ago after a two-year relationship and he's already going on dates with other girls, while I'm barely hanging out with even my friends! The reason we broke up is because he cheated on me, but besides that, I feel like my life is stuck on pause. I thought 2009 would be great and my life would finally start, but I still feel...stuck in 2008, when about 95% of my life completely sucked. I don't have a car, all my friends are either at college, being a parent, have full-time jobs, constantly hanging out with their significant others, or just too damn lazy and boring to hang out at all, my job gives me about six hours a week (which means I'm flat-broke), and I'm on the internet literally 95% of my time gaining weight every day. I was 108 lbs the week before college started for me (August of last year) and now I'm about 115. How can I get out of this situation when I have extremely limited resources? I mean, this whole thing is making it that much harder to get over my ex!
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female
reader, huneygyrl +, writes (11 January 2009):
 I know you're down and out with the break up but honey, you can't stay in that rut. Don't let him see you break down, that's giving him power knowing it's really getting to you. Try dating yourself. Just because you don't have transportation doesn't mean you have to stop what you have to do in life. Show him you don't need him, not just him, show yourself. You deserve that.
Being broke with limited resources, income along with of course, needed transportation...is part of life. That should give you more encouragement to get up. I know it's not easy as it sounds but if I can do it, you surely can.
Maybe take a walk to a park. What about your parents? Can you move back in with your parents? Do you have any siblings you're close to so you can talk to? Relatives? Someone you're close to?
Everyone is different when grieving from a divorce, break up. When I left my daughter's dad because he also cheated on me, grieving for me is being along with my daughter. I just didn't want to be around anyone. I cried and cried asking GOD, what have I done to deserve this? I have been nothing but good to this man and this is what I get in return? It's been 4 years now and I'm sort of still going through it but better than before. To make a long story short, grieve, feel the heartbreak, get up and move on.
Good luck!!! Be strong!!
A
female
reader, siamaq18 +, writes (11 January 2009):
 Yea You is stuck girl, but I've been through a situation like that also, what I advise you to do is try to get another job where you get a little bit more hours which is going to get you away from that computer and get your mind off that EX. I understand why you were stuck cause you thought that he would've been the one, but there's a major reason why people don't last long in your life, I think you should go out, you don't need friends to make you have a good time, all you need is you and one day you're going to find that Mr. Nice guy who's going to make you wish you had met him sooner. Good luck.
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