A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been waitressing at a restaurant for a few months. I've noticed that certain regulars don't leave tip regardless of service. And of course there are occasional customers that don't tip at all. How can I ask my customers politely to leave tip? I was planning to say next time, "Excuse me, I was wondering if in any way you were unsatisfied with our service today?" If they said yes, I would ask them for feedback (not tip) and respond appropriately. If they said no, I was thinking of saying, "Oh, I think you may have forgotten to tip" with a genuine smile. I don't think there's a way to eliminate the awkwardness completely so I want to be as polite as possible. What's the best way to approach this? I want to always provide the best customer service I can, so if customers don't tip, I want to ask them for feedback (not necessarily for tip!). Also, I understand gratuity is optional but I think a customer who regularly dines in without leaving tip is rude. Feedback please? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your responses! I truly appreciate them.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2013): "In some circumstances, tips ARE wages. They pay less than the minimum wage because tips are expected to make up the larger portion of the pay." That maybe the case in the states but not in the UK. In the UK the minimum wage is something like £6 for everybody and its illegal to pay someone less than that amount and expect them to top up their wage with tips. I work in a UK restaurant chain I earn the minimum wage. My GF, who I live with, works in a clothes shop, also on the same minimum wage as me. What entitles ME to expect tips when my other half, on the same wage, is not going to get a financial tip for showing someone to a changing room or putting a pair of shoes through the till?In my workplace ALL tips have to be shared out equally between all of the staff. This is a little unfair IMO as those who make less effort and get away with the least make as much in tips as those who go the extra mile. I might "get" £20 n tips but be left with £1.50.I do think that some of the posters on here need to bear in mind cultural and wage differences where tipping is concerned throughout the different countires. In the Americas it is considered rude not too tip but in the UK this is less so. That might make us brits sound mean but I agree with the guy who said that eating out in the states is generally a different experience to eating out in the UK. I also totally agree that in the Uk we could learn a hell of a lot about customer service from the states. Three things an English person will always complain about: The weather, the state of our public transport system and bad customer service. Im grateful of having a job and it took me a long time to get this position. Yet Some of my collegues really "resent" having a minimum wage job that involves pampering people. They say its not "glamorous" enough and seem to think the world owes them a living or celebrity status. They make it clear when they serve people that they don't want to be there. Im not suggesting the OP is in that mindset for one minute but it is a problem in my workplace and the in UK as a whole right now. We really need an English equivalent of "have a nice day!"In these tough economic times everyone is looking to save money. Yes they could save more by not eating out but if they want to eat out and not tip then that's their personal choice. The person who said "It's extremely rude. If one can't afford to tip properly, they can't afford to dine at a service restaurant. That's what fast food restaurants and takeout options are for self service." Well to say that only those who are willing to give out extra money are worthy or "deserve" to frequent more expensive establishments is silly - Most restaurants right now are glad of ANY custom not just those who give a generous tip. Another poster claims those who don't tip are "looked down upon in society. They know it, but for some reason don't care." Again please respect cultural differences and peoples RIGHT to do what they like with their own money. If you don't like not getting tips then find another job. Im doing so (for more money hopefully) and certainly wouldn't ask for a tip from anyone (or expect it!)
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 March 2013):
 Not really.
Tipped employees are a class of employees for which the standard federal minimum wage does not apply. Instead, employers must pay a tipped employee at least 2.13 per hour. HOWEVER, the laws also clearly states that if the employee's wage plus tips do not equal at least the standard minimum wage ( it used to be around 6 / hour nationally few years ago ) then the employer must make up the difference.
Therefore it is incorrect to say that waiters make less than minimum wage. Their NORMAL hourly wage may be less than minimum wage , but the amount of money they earn from wages and tips must always be at least minimum wage ( or, if not, the employer is breaking the law ).
That you don't get fat on minimum wage is sadly true, but the same applies for tons of workers that don't even ever get tipped .
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 March 2013):
 In some circumstances, tips ARE wages. They pay less than the minimum wage because tips are expected to make up the larger portion of the pay.
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (29 March 2013):
 I am sure you already give excellent customer service.
In some countries tipping is not the norm. But those are generally countries where the base wages paid are higher than in the US. Right now your base wage is low and so you rely on tips. I understand that. And tipping is the norm in the US.
However people are also doing it really tough financially in the community now. And the more experienced staff may even be making a beeline for the customers who are good tippers.
Sadly for you the state of the economy is that some people will not tip. But asking for a tip is very rude. And too confronting and could drive customers away and that will not help the business.
All I can suggest is that you put on a bright happy smile. Put on the "nothing is too much trouble" look on your face. Appear very delighted to see them again. Tell them your name and if they tell you their name then out the back write the name in a little booklet in your pocket and add to it as you discover more.
So that next time Jane comes in you can greet Jane by name, welcome her back and ask how her cat Ginger is. Remmembering the customer's name, how they like their eggs, and any tny snippets of conversation you recall will make that customer feel special and eventually others will notice how thoughtful and considerate you are and want you to serve them too.
I know what you are doing is a tough job, but we all have to do what we need to do to keep our jobs in a customer focused world. And make the customer feel special and appreciated for their custom start to show their appreciation too.
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2013): Tips aren't wages .... whether you give great service or bad service, tipping should not be expected because its your boss that pays you from the profits of the restaurant not customers. If tipping happens its because the customer wants to and you should by no means force anyone because you were a "good" server. To be honesty if you were so rude to me to expect a tip then i would 1, Not tip you. 2, Never go to your place of employment again. 3, Might even complain to your boss.
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female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX  +, writes (28 March 2013):
 I think it's rude to ask people to tip you- i'd never even think about doing it personally.
I do casual waitressing at a big event place near where I live and people there pay hundreds of pounds to eat there. Some tip extremely well (one boy i worked with got given £150) wheras some don't tip at all. At least over in the US you can probably keep ALL the tips you earn personally, where I work all our tips get put together then divided up between about 25 waitresses/waiters, as well as say 7 bar staff and about 4 kitchen staff. I got £30 tip once, but only got £10 back.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 March 2013):
 this-is-me writes of a person paying for a 5 dollar meal with a 20 dollar bill and not being given change. THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN around here. A good server would have brought change that gave lots of singles so as to hint about getting a tip... but unless they are told "keep the change" to ASSUME you are being tipped is wrong and it's NOT proper.
Your brother needed to go to management and say something or at minimum say to the server "excuse me where is my change" and then I would have not tipped well.... had the server brought me change with lots of one dollar bills I would have tipped generously. Had they brought me change without breaking it up for easy tipping, they would get what's available.
GREED is not rewarded by my circle of friends, but Once we went out about 15 of us... we teased the poor waitress good naturedly while we ate... she was a GREAT sport about it. the bill was about 100 dollars for our meal... She was so much fun and such a good sport about it we all chipped in and tipped her $50 bucks for giving her a hard time.
When I tip I often get servers coming back AFTER they take the bill and saying "THANK YOU" for my tip.
But I gotta say, a server that ASSUMES I'm tipping well, or DEMANDS I tip them, or does not return my money properly, is a server that will get bare minimum from me.
I know servers depend on tips to make ends meet. I also know the majority of them do not declare it on their taxes like they are supposed to. IF it's NOT demanded or expected I'm more inclined to be generous but sadly I note I am the exception rather than the rule.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2013): CindyCares said "I don't want the guy who brings me my soup lecturing me about generosity or class solidariety or social elegance." to right! I'm unemployed...if the staff think its night right to go without tips then give me the job. Id happily have a job with no tips (in the UK where there is a minimum wage applicable to all jobs) thanks very much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2013): spot on Cindy! in the uk bar/resturant staff and waiters/waitresses get the same minimum wage as me (to the penny)....yet I work in an office. I work hard, try bloody hard to please my customers and take a lot of S**t form them too. I go the extra mile, put a brave face on rude customers and have to do a lot of arse licking. Oh and I dont get commission. Do any get any tips? Yes....the tip I got was "think your self bloody lucky you have a job young man!"
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (28 March 2013):
Tipping is customary, yet customary does not mean mandatory. Restaurants are public establishements , open to everybody, including cheapskates , absent minded people , or even impecunious people who can barely afford the cost of the meal. It's not up to the waitstaff turn themselves into social or moral reformers and try to " better " their customers fishing for tips.
In all the many years I spent in USA I ALWAYS tipped ,also for really less than stellar service, precisely out of humanitarian reasons , i.e. knowing that most waiters can't count on a decent income without tips, i.e. out of the goodness of my heart ,- I realize that if the server is having a bad day , yet he still has got to feed himself.
But I want it to remain a free choice of mine, as I have the right to it in any establishemnt that does not apply a service charge , - I don't want the guy who brings me my soup lecturing me about generosity or class solidariety or social elegance. I'd find it incredibly intrusive and aggressive, and if I ever had had a server telling me what am I supposed to do with MY money, not only I would have avoided patronizing the place again in future, but I would have made sure to talk to the manager / owner and give him a piece of my mind in no undertain terms.
Which leads to why is not such a great idea to displease the non tipping customers and openly or subtly discouraging them from coming back. It may work well for the waiter, who in this way has the chance to run into better tippers ,- but I really don't think the management / ownership of the restaurant would be elated to know that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): I'm shocked at some of these responses. Yes, tipping is optional but customary. Not tipping or leaving poor tip should only be done on the RARE occasion that service was exceptionally poor. Otherwise, that's what you're telling your server when it's not the case. It's extremely rude. If one can't afford to tip properly, they can't afford to dine at a service restaurant. That's what fast food restaurants and takeout options are for self service. Those not planning to tip should tell the server at the beginning of the meal. If you're too embarrassed to do so, you don't object the system. You're just cheap. Regardless of the excuses one makes for not tipping, they're looked down upon in society. They know it, but for some reason don't care. OP, I feel the way you plan to ask customers about their satisfaction with customer service is polite and appropriate. Sure they may feel awkward and choose not to return, but it's their loss not yours. In fact it's not a bad idea to make room for "proper" customers. It puzzles me that some people here would actually leave no tip for a higher bill and some tip for a smaller bill. Again, don't dine at a service restaurant if you can't afford it! Fine dining establishments are more expensive because the servers are highly trained. They're great in customer service, memorize your orders with paper and pen, and can describe to you in detail about the dishes and wine. Tip IS part of the bill. I understand why many posters would discourage "asking" for tip, but that's a different subject. As for leaving tip, there's no appropriate excuse not to do so other than horrible service.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): To be fair MsSadie attitudes to tipping in the US and Cananda are very different from, for example, here in the uk. My brother recently moved to vancoover form England and paid for, say, a $5 meal with a $20 bill and waited for his change as he would at home. When it didn't arrive his Canadian friends rather embarrassingly told him that he had left a large 15 dollar tip. In the UK we don't have the "have a nice day" kind of service I so enjoyed receiving when I was in the US for a while. In the UK customer service is often dire and eating out is, compared to the US, very expensive. Having "eaten out" in the US I always felt the person serving WANTED to serve me. I always received a warm welcome, a smile and the good old "have a nice day"....in Britain we often put up with grumpy staff who mumble, grunt and make us feel as if serving us is only slightly more preferable to being boiled alive. I went into a dinner while I was in America and ordered a MINI cheeseburger...compared to the largest, most expensive burger in the UK it was huge! MASSIVE! served by a gorgeous blond with a dazzling smile and great customer service. A week or two later, back in the uk, I ordered a cheeseburger from a well known burger chain....the tiny, undercooked, pathetic offering of "food" was shoved in my direction by a spotty lad who mumbled something like "this yours?". This is why in the UK tips are often only given if we receive great service or we eat in a "proper restaurant" as appose to the amercian style dinner type establishments.
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reader, MsSadie +, writes (27 March 2013):
 Wow! I'm shocked by some of the responses here.
I don't consider tipping optional because I know, as my sister worked in the service industry, that most of a server's salary comes from their tips. (Here in PA I think that the minimum wage for restaurants is about $2.00/hr!)
Sadly, some people are just plain hard-headed and/or choose to eat in restaurants they really can't afford. I like your solution of politely asking how the service was, and if they don't leave a tip you can ask "is there anything I could have done different?"
Best of luck, and thank you for being such a polite server!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 March 2013):
when we get good service we tip 20% no matter what the bill is. ON GREAT service we tip 25% On Xmas we tipped nearly 50%.
bad service we tip 15%
Oh and part of our issue is I am a very small eater so we tend to tip on what I WOULD have eaten prior to my surgery vs what I eat now. It's not the waitstaff's fault I eat small.
15% here is the expected minimum. Many places have a mandatory (included on the bill) gratuity and when that happens (usually 18%) we let that stand. they do that because so many folks don't tip (as it's not mandatory) but do not realize that wait staff depends on their tips for the bulk of their money.
Sadly OP there is NOTHING you can do to get folks to tip you other than change shops to one that has the tip included in the bill.
I'm a great tipper unless the person asks for (even if they imply it) a tip. In that case I would leave NOTHING.
A TIP is nice. It's not mandatory or necessary.
Perhaps you can find a different place to work...
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male
reader, Grym +, writes (27 March 2013):
I do something similar to what oldbad says. If my bill is higher than $60, I usually thank the waiter/waitress and be on my merry way. If I didn't spend too much then I usually leave a 5 or 10.
There was one time a waitress did ask me how much of a tip I was leaving. I guess that was her polite way of saying that I should leave something. I considered it rude so I left two dollars and never went back. I also told a couple of my friend not to dine there without expecting to leave a tip. So yea, it would be rude of you to ask for a tip. Most descent people will leave one, but if you annoy them with it, they'll be turned-off by your service.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): with these tough economic times customers are looking for value for money. Meal prices are up and portion sizes are down. With that in mind people, even those who feel its right to tip, are not doing so as much. People cant afford it simple as that.
Don't ask for a tip as you will get one - "yes you can have a tip love, shove it!"
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (27 March 2013):
 Hi
If I have paid for a meal especially if it's pricey,unless it's above average food and service,I don't tip.My daughter leaves 10% of meal price because she did waitressing when a student and feels they earn it.
If a waitress *asked* me for one I wouldn't eat there again,simple.
I would ask your employer to put something on the menu or Bill, even a sign somewhere re tips.
Or suggest 10% on the bill.The other lower paid staff in the kitchen would benifit then too
But don't badger the customers.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 March 2013):
 It IS optional. And if they were unsatisfied do you think they would really BE regular customers? They wouldn't keep coming back.
Unfortunately there are people like that in the world, who don't understand that the majority of your paycheck as a waitress in the US, is actually the tip. Others don't care.
Bringing it up is not going to do a thing to be honest.
Now you know what to expect from those regulars. Do they always sit in your section?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): I don't think you should bring it up at all. As you say it is optional, and you will come across as both rude and greedy if you ask them for a tip. If they don't want to tip you that is their business, and you don't really have the right to expect or demand it.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (27 March 2013):
Yes it's rude and cheap, but it's also rude to ask for a tip! It's also a food way to scare people off, so I wouldn't do it. Just accept that as part of the job. Perform adequate service (which is your job) and give the exceptional service to those that pay for it.
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (27 March 2013):
I wouldn't do it.
A gratuity IS optional and discretionary and, even assuming that not leaving a tip is rude, it's not your job to help your clients with their manners , only with their food !
Some establishements have solved this problem by officially adding to the bill a,say, 10% or 12% service charge. Maybe you can convince your boss to do the same.
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