A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was seeing this guy for a few months, he was very quiet and shy and very awkward and nervous around girls, but I persisted as I thought he just needed a bit of confidence and experience. He told people he liked me and I liked him, yet when we met we could never really communicate with each other apart from texts. We could say anything via text, even saucy messages, but so different when we met. He said he wasn't ready for a girlfriend but still wanted to see me and have some fun. We still saw each other and one night he did kiss me etc but only cos he was drunk. It was still weird between us and so I said I was getting mixed signals and best if we were JUST mates, he said that was fine but now he's ignoring me and won't return my texts. He's suddenly developed a defeatist attitude apparently and being weird even with his close friends, although he apparently went on another blind date with a different girl (which didn't go well). I don't understand why he's being like this?! He won't even be friends with me and he seemed so sweet and genuine previously. Can anyone enlighten me???!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2007): I think you should bluntly talk to him about it. It seems very possible that his defeatism is from him feeling like he screwed things up with you earlier. If you just sit down and both say what you need to say it will either fix the problem, or put closure on the whole thing. I know I have been in similar situations as him before and you know you should just talk to the person, but you don't have any idea what to say or maybe are trying to make sure you are over them before you become friends.
A
male
reader, wildturkey  +, writes (12 June 2007):
 1 not everyone is perfectly match, i have been with girls that i found communciation difficult becuase of the difference in interest/personality.
or
2 he did really like you but his lack of experience resulted in the brakedown of the relationship. Males often find that expressing feeling is dificult. he might not want to talk to you anymore because he still likes you and didnt understand why it didnt work. If he is inexperienced then makeing all the moves may feel daunting, esp now that the roll of a male has been transformed, because women are taking their place as equals (rightly so btw but males still need to re-learn there place in this new world)
3 the we will still be friends only works if both people fell the same way. if he still "loves" you he wont be able to just be friend it will hurt like hell
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A
female
reader, trizzac  +, writes (12 June 2007):
 hi.
in my oppion u shoud move on b4 you get hurt anymore,i'v been ere wit a lad nd de best thing bout this site is dat i ave had alot of love problems myself and this one just rencently he was playin you along de hole time my ex done de same and only for his best mate bein my beat mate too i wud'nt of found out how evil lads can be!!!MOVE ON... dats wat i say your only going to get hurt in a situation likr this hun..why dont you get your mate to set you on a blind date have some fun and enjoy life no lad is worth worrying over i learnt it the hard way!!!
gud luk nd keep us updated xxxx
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