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writes: My inspiration for writing this article are those people whom I have given advise from here on how to stand up after they split up with their partners.I can't help but feel sorry for them, for I sincerely understand how hard it is to heal a broken heart. People get sensitive when it comes to money matters but most of all when it comes to HEART or LOVE matters.Some people will commit suicide or act really crazy because of LOVE. When it shouldn't be the case. Its normal that you will have a huge heart attack of sadness and madness at the early stage of the break up. But one week had pass and your still acting crazy that's no good for you. Its no longer healthy for people around you and most of all for you.It will definitely affect your relationship with God, with other people, your work performance, your spirit, your emotions, your face and how you are as a person. The worst part is when you see the other person (whose the main reason for your breakdown), Happy, unaffected, contented and have move on with someone else. So what to do? 1. This works for me. I know its corny but it really works for me. Watch Super Scary Horror Movies. I hate watching scary movies, i have a tendency to really think about it too much. like it sticks to my mind for a couple of days. but it helps me to forget thinking about the person. So Try it. 2. Chocolates. I know its been said and done a million times. But it really does miracles. It lighten up your mood, why? because it has anti depressant qualities. It helps.3. Shopping. I don't know but it helps me to feel good when i shop, even if I'm not going to buy anything, just window shopping makes me stop thinking about the one who's making me sad. Especially if i see something expensive that i really like, oh i have to save money for this. It diverts my attention. 4. Work Extra Hours at work. This works for me every time. If I don't want to go out and just wanna be alone, All I have to do is work for extra hours. Even go beyond that, like I would take over time during my off for 8 hours. I make myself busy and productive. That way, I don't have time to think and make myself crazy and sad.5. Listen to songs that will help you get motivated in forgetting someone you love: Here's my list: 1. Really Don't Care by: Demi Lovato 2. All About tonight by: Pixie Lott 3. I'm not Missing you by: Stacie Orrico 4. I don't Miss you at all by: Selena Gomez 5. Best thing I never had by: Beyonce 6. Gives you hell by: American Rejects 7. Wishful Thinking by: Go West 8. I Will Survive by: Cake 9. I Look so Good w/out you by: Jessie James 10. Happy by: Hilary DuffYou may add another song that will motivate you, repeat it over and over until you own it and believe in every words from those songs until such time you finally accepted the fact that its over.6. Go to SPA, have a massage, facial in short, prettify yourself. Spend money for yourself, not on drinking but making yourself more beautiful. (You gotta listen to Jessie James song, I look so good without you.)7. Clear your mind, Organize your thoughts. Like ask yourself, why i'm doing this to myself, I have kids to take care of (if you have kids) i have a job to take care of (if your skipping work) I have bills to pay His happy now with someone else. (I am still crazy for him) is this gonna bring him back to me? if he see me ugly, crazy, mentally disturbed? will it make him come back to me? You know the answer, its not and That's not your goal. Your Goal is to repair your self. you are under construction. Your Goal is to Help yourself to move on, feel happy and complete without the person who hurt you Its hard, but you gotta do what you have to do, people may give us advise left and right but if we wont help our self, everything is meaningless. Hope we all learn from this andThank you for reading.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much. i hope you read my new article too.
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reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (11 August 2013):
 I love this article. You have some really great suggestions:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah. its hard to forget someone special.
But time heals all wounds.So, eventually we will just forget.
Hey thanks for reading my how to tips.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2013): You know in the past after a break-up I went through my thing with the chocolates and frozen yogurt with toppings. lol I also went through the angry song phase. 1)Treat Me Right by Pat Benatar 2) You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette 3)Heartbreaker by Pat Benatar 4)Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac and my favorite disco tune 5)Gonna Get Over You by France Joli. Breaking up is like having an open wound. It needs time to heal.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, that's not disappointing.
Its more like, acceptable.
We all have different opinions about how we may do things, but what's important is that we always have mutual respect about others feelings and decisions.
I am happy to know that you have overcome your good and bad feelings towards your ex. Its a very good start for a new chapter of your life without MR. X.
Cheers!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2013): I may disappoint many to know that I don't plan a continued friendship with my ex. As you recall, he dumped me over 3 months ago. I've decided to move on; however, I have forgiven him. I'm not the type of person to carry grudges; but I see no reason to keep someone in your life who dumped you, and made you go through the pain of a breakup.
I wanted him to see that I am okay and that life is moving forward. His offer was nice; but I see no reason to ease his guilt by accepting his invitation. He sent me an e-mail the other morning, telling how the weather is up in Vermont.
I don't intend to take him up on his offer, and the sun is shining right where I am.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi There!
That was a brave move.
Not everyone can be brave as you are and just act normal after a painful breakup.
I agree with you that, its o.k to be friends with someone you used to love, anyway, they used to be a part of your life.
As long as your focus with your goal and your determined to just keep things in a friendly mode.
After all who needs enemies? its not good to keep grudges.
It will just make you ugly, bitter and negative.
I do think we all deserve to be happy and just forget and forgive people who hurt us, but it doesn't mean that you welcome them to play an active role in your life.
But if things go well between the two of you, well that's very nice. So, Good luck. wishing you all the best..
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2013): I was going about my daily routine. Getting business in order and organizing. I tend to have premonitions,and have a strong sense of intuition. So I stopped what I was doing, and sent a text to the ex.
CAUTION:
"This is not to be done at home. Results may vary. Do not attempt this stunt, it may cause serious harm. Various side effects may include depression, anger, heart-break, disappointment, dizziness, nausea, drunk texting, and loss of sanity."
He immediately called back; and said: "This is totally weird! Are you freaking psychic? I was just thinking about you! How'd the hell you do that? This is freaking me out!"
He asked me if I am available tomorrow. I asked why? He wants to come over. He invited me up to his summer home in Vermont for next weekend. Blah, blah, blah!
Getting over a breakup is a long process. It is psychologically draining. The mind and body go through waves of emotions that are like no other experience you'll have; other than the death of a loved one. I played all the breakup songs on your post. I don't want him back. I don't want sex. I need no closure. So why did I text him?
It was a test of myself. In spite of his excitement, it was like talking to one of my regular friends. There wasn't the passion I used to feel when I heard his voice. It's just like any other platonic communication with any other person on my list of contacts. It's been over 60 days since he made up some excuse to pick up some stuff he left. I just ignored him. I was going to send it by mail.
He gave me a run down on his life over the past couple of months. We avoided any discussion other than how we're doing and what new things we've been up to. He is not the chatty excitable type. He had so much to say. It was really eery. I need a horror movie!!!
I accepted his visit. Now it is his turn to start his healing process. I know he thinks I feel the same. I don't.
I'm happy to know he is well. The past is buried. I am not keen on friendships after breakups or friends with benefits.
What is over is over. I'll save money on shipping his stuff.
However; adults get past painful issues and seek full recovery. I have to allow myself the opportunity to forgive
and move on. We owe each other time to talk. We didn't break up out of any bad incident. He just thinks I deserve someone better and he fears long-term relationships.
The mistakes most people would make, would be trying to hookup, reconcile; or try to bring him back. Not my plan.
Your post reminded me of a few things. It is not my goal to get him back. I have lots of friends and always open to invite new people into my life. Not an ex. He is my only ex. I was in only two relationships in my life-time. My deceased partner of over 20 years, and this guy.
This is man to man. He is eager to see me, and so he will see who I am now. We have much to teach each other. He let go too soon; but he doesn't deserve to be rewarded for that.
Opportunity may knock only once. It this case, it came and went.
We will talk and enjoy our company. Then we will go our separate ways.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi AshleyCole!
Thank you so much for reading and liking my article.
I didn't expect that people will really notice and love this article.
Thank you, now I am more inspired to write.
I really love writing, most especially if its based on what I have experienced or what I have seen.
I Know that this article is really helpful because I was able to use and apply it to myself. There are so many horror movies that will really stick to your mind.
Or songs that will motivate you to be strong for yourself.
So while watching movie, try to eat chocolates too.
Shopping is also very effective for me, like If I have a headache or fever its gone when i shop, makes me feel ok.
Its funny but shopping helps me too.
Anyway thank you and Good Luck!
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reader, AshleyCole  +, writes (8 July 2013):
 This is an amazing article, I love it.
The last time i asked for help from here was because of someone i love who is now ignoring me. I was so affected, until now I am still affected of me and him, not talking.
I really really care for him but just like wiseowie I am too proud to beg. or to initiate contact with him.
I can't do it. But when i read your article, it enlighten me.
I have to move on and just forget about him. So'ill start watching horror flicks, starting today.
I will also try to download the songs you suggested. This is really cool. 'Luv it so much.
Thank you for writing this article!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi WiseOwlE!
Your Welcome.
I am so happy to hear that you appreciate my article.
It took me some time to reply because i just got back from work and i was asked by a friend to write about his product that his going to sell online.
But I already saw your comment earlier and I'm glad someone can relate and appreciate what i wrote.
its very simple but it comes from the heart because my inspiration are the people whom i have given advised from here.
Its really hard to mend a broken heart, to start all over alone when you get used to doing things for two.
There was a time in my life, where in I was so In love and i forgot that the world not just revolves around him.
I could not work properly, I could not function like I used to, because I always think about the person I am in Love with. always thinking what would be good for him and always all about him.
But Just like any other story it always has to end.
When it was over, I felt so numb because he was the first guy i have sincerely love unconditionally.
I forgot about myself, i started to look ugly, i quit my dream job because it reminds me of him, he always pick me up at work, almost everyday.
When it was ended I had a hard time, he treated me nicely, showered me with almost everything i want, then he just left because he met someone new.
When I learned about it, I got curious who is this girl that she replaced me? I met her, goodness! graciousness! I'm sorry, but she's no match to me.
It took me a year and a half to get over it.
I don't even know how to start my life at that time.
My friends are working outside the country, they were worried about me, I cant eat, i can't work. all i did is call them, cry to them, it was so traumatic.
Then one day, I said to myself I need to forget him.
I have to help myself. I have to decide what is good for me.
Only for me and Me alone. Then I started listening to songs that will help me motivate myself to move on and finally forget him. Over and over and over again.
Then from that moment on, I never look back, not even once did ever check his face book update online. I really don't care, to me his already dead. It was just a nightmare. If I will remember the good times we had, it will just make me sad and as you said we have "human nature".
If human nature calls you, its not recommended to hooked up with someone your not in love with. For me, I will only make love with somebody I Love, someone I have true feelings for. Otherwise, it wouldn't feel right. So just take a shower.
You, taking time to work out is one of the smartest move in keeping yourself healthy and beautiful. When your healthy, your brain properly functions. When your beautiful, guys can't help it but get attracted to you. So, I'm sure, One way or another a new love will come your way.
Why not? your drool worthy. after all you work hard for it.
Good luck to you and thank you so much for reading my article.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2013): I loved your piece. It was very entertaining and very true.
I broke up with someone just a couple of months ago. You know the usual story. Tears and jeers. It came without warning, I thought it was all cool; he thought he had it made. Then...bam!!!
I love being told I deserve someone better. It makes me feel so much better to know I was dating all this time beneath me.
I wish I was told a week after we started dating. Didn't I deserve the head's up? After all, he knows what's best for me.
Oh, I don't know how he's doing in the dating department. I'm a month and 1/2 in recovery, you know how it is. I'm a realist. I don't followup on his Facebook page. I don't care what's happening in his life. I've got one of my own. It takes up too much of my time.
The pictures I used to have in my head are starting to fade. Him smiling at someone else. Chilling with them and riding with the top down on his convertible. I realized how "small" he was in some departments; so I know his sex-life isn't going to be the same. I'm the one with the big one.
He bought a car to make up for his "short-comings." You know what I mean?
I love the suggestion to watch horror films. I love horror films. Days after watching,I feel nervous walking by closets and showering alone. I sleep under the covers; and I won't look under the bed at night. Shadows make me nervous, especially when it moves when I'm not!!!
Good suggestion. I'll remember to do that when I have another relapse. That's when you're going about your day, and Rhianna's "Diamond" song comes on.
Whata kick in the balls? Never saw it coming.
Hits me right where it hurts. I'm thinking of him again. Next time I'll douse the pain with a horror flick. Luv it!!!
We drove down from Connecticut to Florida, and played her album over and over. Now I hate it; but that song still gets to me. It's his favorite song. He also loves Adam Levine. I won't give Adam up for anybody. He reads my heart.
I'm a gay guy. Not the drama-queen type. I'm sensitive; but in a dude's sort of way. I know how to chuck my feelings and get things done. It's when the heartbreak boomerangs back more intense than it was. Those damned relapses.
I took down your list of songs. I clean house on Saturday mornings after my workout. I don't have my own playlist for breakups yet. It hasn't been long enough. If I hear that damned song by Gloria Gaynor " I Will Survive" one more time; I will shoot down the moon with a nuclear missile, and sell the rocks on EBay.
You forgot to mention what to do about those horny nights when you miss your ex. You're not supposed to hookup with people while you're so vulnerable. What do you suggest?
I'm too proud to beg. I don't believe in friends after breakups. No friends with benefits. You can pay for dinner anytime; but I won't give up my desert, lest you're mine. All mine. Then feast until you die!
I feel once you're over them, why befriend them?
If they wanted to be friends, they'd still be your boy/girl-friend. So to the rubbish with them. Good thing I never gave up my well-organized closet space. The things he left behind are neatly folded in a garbage back in a downstairs closet. I never visit them. They make weird sounds and piss me off. They smell like Lagerfelt. I hate Lagerfelt.
I am so much better than I was before. Like I said, I'm being a man about it. I was in New York City two weeks ago; at an upscale Lesbian party. I was hit on by men and women.
I got that boost for the old self-esteem. I think that high will last a while. That's the one thing I keep in good supply. Self-esteem. Keeps you going.
Love the gym more than ever. Watching those desperate faces sweat with determination, and the intensity of the expressions on their faces, reminds me of my own determination to get through this. It's helping.
Everything you said hit the nail on the head. You made my day.
Thank you for writing!
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