A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I dated very briefly last Aug-Oct (2013). I met him through my job (he was a customer there). We had a very intense short term relationship. We never really fought, the sex was amazing, we did fun things together. And behind closed doors he was very affectionate even when sex wasn't in the equation. However, he also had this unspoken control in the relationship. It always seemed 60%-40%. Him always having the higher advantage. I was ok with that. As long as we were spending time together. He wasn't big into public affection. Which he was upfront about I the beginning. Anyway. One day we actually did get into an argument (because I was being really moody that day and lashed out at him over something that had nothing to do with him) and I broke up with him. I realized what I had done and tried to take it back but he told me he didnt want to be with someone who is going to lash out for no reason and wouldn't take me back. This went on for awhile but eventually we started hooking up again but the "commitment" factor wasn't there for him I guess. It was different this time. So I eventually moved on. He still visits my old job regularly (he has other friends who work there) and he is always bringing me up to try and get info on me and see what I'm up to. But then he follows it up with negative comments about me etc. My friend who works there finally called him out on it and said he messed up and he's just mad that I moved on. This made me laugh especially since I pined over him for months asking forgiveness. Do you think he actually does miss me and is to proud to say so? I have no intention of getting back together with him but the satisfaction that he may miss me after everything we went through makes me feel good. There is a lot of details I have not included. But to say the least he held a very narcissistic and upper hand stance the whole time and I didn't care as long as I was with him.
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female
reader, llifton +, writes (16 July 2014):
 Well, of course, with the details missing, it's hard to formulate an opinion of him properly. However, what you've physically written doesn't depict a narcissistic man. More like that of a man who knows his boundaries and what he is and isn't willing to put up with. And once you snapped and took your anger out on him and broke up with him, I suppose he decided that you weren't the type of woman he wanted for the long haul and moved on. I don't see anything inherently wrong or narcisstic with that. As I said, it shows he knows what he wants and won't settle for anything less.
As for if he wants you back - I suppose anything is possible. Maybe he does miss you. Or maybe he really is just curious about you and how you're doing. Maybe he wanted the relationship to work, and really did care, but you just weren't the woman for him. Maybe he does still harbor some feelings for you.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 July 2014):
 Good lord how on earth are we supposed to give a solid answer to this question? Just assume he's totally missing you and you have had the good fortune to leave him in the dust.
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