A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I dated for almost 3 years. I started law school, she always wanted to go, but ended up staying for her masters at our school instead. around the end of december after some on/off for two weeks we broke up. She texted me, and apparently wanted me to call her so we could get back together, I though she wanted space so let her be. A week later I found pics of her and her best friend being cuddly. I asked her and they had started "dating". For the next month she would call me every so ofter, and we would talk about getting back together, but she would always say that I was ignoring her and playing games with her and that I was too late. In Febuary we spent the night with each other a few times and tried to talk about getting back together some more(she was still "dating" her best friend). She told me she was dating him to "help her feel normal again" and that they weren't serious one morning after I stayed there. However we ended up not getting together. We ran into each other at a bar and she took me home, crying, and continuing the same conversation we had already finished. The next day I said we should talk about it, and she told me to move on and stop texting her??? I did. A week later she blocked me from her facebook. now yesterday I got an email explaining that she blocked me to keep her from looking at my profile all the time, but wanted to be fb friends again and that she was sorry for coming off as immature. Can someone tell me whats going on? Do we have a chance at a future? Is this friend real or a rebound?We were planning on getting married after I finish law school. We had been ring shopping, etc, this wasn't just a long relationship to either of us. Part of our break up was for trust reasons, most of which were her going crazy, but nevertheless they were there.thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk new info. We havent talked in almost a month, and she texted me for my birthday. I had been ignoring her calls for the pas thturee weeks trying to get some space. Ahe texted on my b day and wanted to know why we hadn't talked. I told her she could call if she wanted later and she did. We talked for 1.5 hours and she kept bringing up old times, and sex. I got off the phone feeling like it was too long. About an hour later she texted saying how great it was and wanting to meet up soon. Why is she doing this? What is she thinking?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): Dont try to get her back like you did or make it seem like you are trying to do that- you dont need to put in that kind of effort bc she obvi doesnt want that kind of attn. Just take a deep breath and relax, dont over think this. Bump into her and be friendly, be her best friend again. Dont talk about your past relationship or her current one. Once you feel comfortable, maybe do some casual friend things together during the day. Still maintain your life and keep your pride, that will subtly show her what she is missing. You sound like a great guy and you deserve this girl.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionA little help... How do I be a friend? We aren't talking amymore. I have alread made a fool of myself trying to get her back cause she wanted to "try". It was her decision not to talk anymore. I don't reallyfeel like making that effort again. I feel like I need to have some pride in myself, if not then I'm not going to make anyone happy. Thanks for all the words everyone. Really!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI hope that theses answers are right. But I'm not sure how to stay close without being to close. Also this her friend or maybe boyfriend lives three hours away(where she is from, obviously). I guess what I'm really saying is that if she finishes school and moves back home for work then I can't imagine working things out. It really pisses me off that she didn't want to take anytime to be alone after our breakup and just jumped into something else. I guess I just wanted to clarify that her new relationship isn't something I "see". And I'm not really sure how I am supposed to act towards her, not wanting to step on my own toes but not wanting her to think I'll just be hereforever.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): be her best friend but stay on a friend level. she wants to know that you can be there for her and that she can trust you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI hope that theses answers are right. But I'm not sure how to stay close without being to close. Also this her friend or maybe boyfriend lives three hours away(where she is from, obviously). I guess what I'm really saying is that if she finishes school and moves back home for work then I can't imagine working things out. It really pisses me off that she didn't want to take anytime to be alone after our breakup and just jumped into something else. I guess I just wanted to clarify that her new relationship isn't something I "see". And I'm not really sure how I am supposed to act towards her, not wanting to step on my own toes but not wanting her to think I'll just be hereforever.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): If she broke up bc of trust reasons, Im sure they were legit if you were dating for that long. She might have seemed crazy, but i bet she had her reasons. Its hard for girls to feel betrayed/hurt and keep acting the same in a relationship.
if she didnt tell you that her feelings totally changed, then she still loves you and wants to be with you eventually. she is probably dating this friend to not feel betrayed and cover up her hurt feelings until she can consider being with you again.
good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): Dude she obviously still loves you and cant let you go. Since shes dating someone else so fast its not real but maybe she needs it for some reason. stay her friend and be there for her so she doesnt give up on you or think you dont care. girls like the emotional connections so stay on her mind but dont get too involved or pressure her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010): Wow, this hits way too close to home. I definitely speak your girl's language. I dated a man for 3 years in college and we both worked on our Masters following college when I had a freak out moment and decided to stop dating. It was not because I did not love my bf, it was because I needed more life experience. Things were getting extremely serious and although I did not appear scared, I really was. I broke things off and had a rebound relationship for almost a year. I knew that I still loved my old bf, but I told him to move on while I took some time for myself to grow and learn. About another year later, we decided to start hanging out again and things couldn't have been better. We have now been married for 2 years and are expecting a little one soon. What I am trying to say is that things have a way of working out, maybe you both need some room to grow and have more life experiences. If she is the one, it will work out. I am a hopeless romantic so my answer is yes, you definitely have a chance of a future if you truly love this girl and believe she is your soulmate, just don't force anything.
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